Down Size Comic Strips - Page 5

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574 Results for Down Size

View 41 - 50 results for down size comic strips. Discover the best "Down Size" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #fun talking, #little bored, #shut you down, #conversation, #self centered girl, #yawn

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Dilbert is on a date. He walks his date home. She says, "I had fun talking to you tonight, Gilbert." The date says, "It got a little boring when you tried to steer the conversation away from me. But I managed to shut you down by looking uninterested." Dilbert corrects her. "It's Dilbert, not Gilbert." His date lets out a big fake yawn.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #user manual, #typo, #technical calls, #phone sex place, #complaints are down, #customers

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Dilbert looks over his cubicle wall. The Boss says, "Our user manual has a typo. Our technical support calls are going to a phone sex place." The Boss says, "Complaints are way down." Customer's House: The customer sits at his computer and says into the telephone, "Well, okay, but... has that ever worked?" The voice on the other end of the line says, "No complaints yet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #guidlines for passwords, #six characters, #include numbers and letters, #upper and lower case, #change once a month, #touture employees, #write nothing down

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Man comes up to Dilbert and introduces himself, "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. I bring new guidelines for passwords." Dilbert reads the guidelines, "'All passwords must be at least six characters long.. include numbers and letters.. include a mix of upper and lower case..'" Dilbert continues to read, "'Use different passwords for each system change once a month, do not write anything down.'" Mordac yells, "Squeal like a pig!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 1998's comic on:


Tags #free flu shots, #wealth stock holders, #hunt down, #shoot flu darts, #not flu prevention shits

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Catbert is standing at the entrance to Wally's cubicle. Catbert tells him, "The company is giving free flu shots, Wally." A man holding a rifle, wearing safari gear and glasses, reminiscent of Teddy Roosevelt, stands next to Catbert. Catbert continues, "The shots will be delivered by wealthy stockholders who will hunt you down and shoot you with flu darts." Wally, with the barrel of the rifle pointed in his back, asks, "At least I won't get the flu, right?" Catbert replies, "You're probably thinking of the flu prevention shots."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #shut down factory, #ethical, #make film, #empowered, #more women in management, #down for day, #ego booster, #endangered bird, #parking lot, #engineering

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"From now on, any engineer can shut down our factory for any reason." "Later we'll film a commercial about how ethical and empowered you are." "Ha! Give me a raise, Tubby, or the factory's going down!" "You can't shut it down, I'm shutting it down until more women are in top management." "I'd like to shut it down for a day, just as an ego booster. Is Tuesday good?" "Didn't any of you hear that there's an endangered bird living in the parking lot??" "I think I parked on it this morning." "Can we get back to the point?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #chocolate cake, #engineer, #railroad, #big corproation, #fix typrwriters, #debugged tcp, #driver aplication, #isdn bonding, #cuts down to size, #dilmom, #cake to packing foam, #insulted cake, #engineering

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a couch. Dilbert's mom hands him a plate and says, "Here's some nice chocolate cake for you and Dogbert." Dilbert says, "Thank, Mom." Dogbert also says, "Thanks, Mom." Dilbert's mother says, "Tell me all about your job at the railroad." Dilbert replies, "It's not a railroad. I'm an engineer at a big corporation." Dilbert's mom asks, "Do you fix the typewriters when they break?" Dilbert replies, "No . . . Today I debugged a TCP/IP driver for an application that runs over ISDN with bonding." Dilbert's mom asks, "You mean, all you do is slap a BRI analyzer on a circuit and look for bad packets?" Dilbert says, "Well . . . Yeah. But it's really hard." Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I was doing okay until she offered to pay my tuition to typewriter repair school." Dogbert says, "You shouldn't have compared her cake to packing foam."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #profits down, #male sinking, #bold leadership, #inspirational posters, #variety, #relevant nature scenes, #relate to scene, #seagull, #clam

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The Boss shouts at Wally and Dilbert, "Profits are down, morale is sinking; it's time for bold leadership!!" The Boss holds up some posters and continues, "So I got some inspirational posters featuring a variety of relevant nature scenes." The Boss shows the poster to Wally and Dilbert and says, "I think you can relate to this scene." Wally asks, "Am I the seagull or the clam?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #lost forturne, #trophy wife, #valuable lesson, #wrote down

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Wally, without his ponytail, eats lunch with Alice and Dilbert. Wally says, "I lost my fortune and my trophy wife today. But I learned a valuable lesson." Wally eats his bannana. Wally says, "I hope I wrote it down somewhere."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #doctor dogbert, #marketimg, #elbow, #vote, #pulls pants down, #Politics

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Caption "Doctor Dogbert" Dogbert wears a crown and stethoscope. A fully clothed man sits on the examination table. He says, "I hurt my elbow, doctor." Dogbert says, "Let me see it." The man pulls down his pants. Dogbert says, "I recommend a career in marketing. And it's not a good idea to vote."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #budget calculated, #double check numbers, #mentally adjust, #huge mistake, #upside down nine

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The boss stands behind Asok who is at his computer. The boss says, "Do you have the udget calculated yet, Asok?" Asok says, "I need to double-check the numbers." The boss says, "Give me a copy now. I'll mentally adjust for the possibilty the numbers are wrong." Asok says, "Am I making a huge mistake?" The boss says, "This six is probaly an upside-down nine."