Search Results for "driving getaway car"
Share August 03, 1993's comic on:
Man: Please... End the bio world experiment. We're out of food. Air is almost gone. We pray there was no sadistic intent when you chose only car salespeople for the experiment... Please... At least let some air in... Dogbert: Gee, I really want to help. I'll go try to convince my boss to see it your way. Man: Hey! I'm a "saturn" dealer- I'm different!
Share January 14, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert sits at his desk and a businessman sits across from him. Reading from a document, Dogbert says, "I'll invest up to five million dollars if you'll agree to some standard conditions." Dogbert continues, "I will be chairman of the board and own 99% of the company. You will work for free and wash my car twice a week." The businessman asks, "Can I mow your lawn instead of washing your car?" Dogbert answers, "You're a tough bargainer, but I prefer multimedia developers for my gardening needs."
Share February 06, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert sits at Dilbert's desk at home. Dilbert stands in front of the desk holding a cup of coffee and dressed in a bathrobe. Dilbert says, "I have an ethical question about telecommuting, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Do I owe my employer eight productive hours, or do I only need to match the two productive hours I would have in the office?" Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the desk chair together. Dogbert answers, "Well, when you factor in how you're saving the planet by not driving, you only owe one hour." Dilbert adds, "And this meeting counts."
Share February 16, 1995's comic on:
Alice walks in carrying a briefcase and sees Wally and Dilbert drinking coffee. Alice says, "I was so late I had to put on my makeup in the car." Dilbert says, "Yeah, I had to shave in the car." Wally says, "That's nothing. I was so late that I had to give myself a sponge bath in the car." Alice looks shocked and asks, "Aren't you the driver for your carpool?" Wally responds, "You've never heard such whining."
Share July 17, 1995's comic on:
Liz and Dilbert are seated beneath a tree reading books. She asks him, "What did you bring to read?" Dilbert responds, "It's a book of tips for my new computer golf game." Liz comments, "So . . . you're reading a book . . . about a computer simulation . . . of an activity that's ALMOST a sport . . ." Liz continues, "That's about as close as you can get to being a non-organic life form." Dilbert says, "This chapter is about driving the little cart."
Share August 03, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert says to Ratbert, "Congratulations on getting hired as a temp, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Where do I start?!" Dilbert tells him, "Your office is this cardboard box in the main hallway. The regular employees will not make eye contact or ask your name." Dilbert continues, "Your status is roughly between the security guard and the crud behind the refrigerator." Ratbert replies, "Do I get a company car?"
Share September 21, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the armrest of a couch. Dilbert, with a phone in his hand, says, "I've been on hold for tech support since Tuesday. Get Bob and meet me in the car." Dilbert is driving with Dogbert in the passenger seat. Bob the Dinosaur says from the back seat, "I can't wait to try my newest maneuver, the 'Turban Wedgie.'" Bob is holding the tech support person in the air. The tech support person has a turban on his head. Bob says to Dilbert, "It starts like a regular wedgie then I wrap it around his head." Dilbert says, "Question . . ."
Share September 23, 1995's comic on:
The Boss approaches Wally and Dilbert. The Boss says, "I found software that helps managers write performance evaluations!" Dilbert and Wally both say, "Uh-oh." The Boss continues, "It's made by the same company that makes fortune cookies for Canada!" Wally says, "That makes me feel better." The caption says, "Next Day." The Boss offers Wally and Dilbert small strips of paper. Dilbert says, "I didn't think you knew how to use a PC." The Boss replies, "My secretary wrote these." Wally reads a strip aloud, "Don't by a new car."
Share October 31, 1995's comic on:
Wally says to the Boss, "I don't understand how the new reorganization will help us 'focus on our core business.'" Wally continues, "Did our core business change? Or are you saying that EVERY reorg prior to this was a misdirected failure?" The Boss asks hypothetically, "Wally, when a car gets a flat tire, what do you do?" Wally answers, "Well, if I'm you, I rotate the tires and drive home."
Share December 16, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert's car taps the car behind it. Dilbert says, "Oh, carp . . . I'd better see if I dented it." Dilbert leans into the car and tells the driver, "Your bumper doesn't appear to be . . . Uh-oh." The driver's legs and arms are contorted. He shouts at Dilbert, "Look what you've done to me, you oaf!!" The man hops out of the car and shouts, "I'll see you in court!!" The driver sits in the witness stand and tells the judge, ". . . And now I'll never be able to work again." The lawyer asks, "What kind of work did you do?" The man replies, "Well, uh . . . Er . . . Um . . ." The man answers, "Circus contortionist." The man adds, "As far as the settlement goes, I can be flexible."