Emotional Impact Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

53 Results for Emotional Impact

View 41 - 50 results for emotional impact comic strips. Discover the best "Emotional Impact" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #plan, #inefficiency, #ridicule, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

the Boss says, "Asok, I'm putting you in charge of pandemic contingency planning." The Boss says, "Calculate the impact on our business if 50% of our employees are unable to be productive." Asok says, "That's twice as good as we're doing now." The Boss says, "Just make some slides that say it would be bad."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #raises, #percentage raises, #dont discuss, #humilaiting, #low raises, #wages, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

"Please don't discuss your raise with co-workers." "Whatever." "Let's see how the losers and morons did." "You only got 6%? I got 8%." "9%. Why do you ask?" "7.5%. Anything less would be humiliating." "Well, let me see...I think it was..." "Brace for impact." "8.5%" "GAAA!!" "Has she yet learned why it is a bad idea to discuss her raise with co-workers?" "Sounds like it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #death & dying, #distress, #rearrange bits, #already dead

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All I did this week was rearrange bits on the Internet. I had no real impact on the physical world. I can't rule out the possibility that I'm already dead and I don't know it. Okay, still an open question.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #emotional manipulation, #executives, #financial gain, #leader, #leaders, #less unlikable, #lonely job, #manipulation, #obliviousness, #popularity

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Being a leader is a lonely job. Dilbert: Try being less of a #!@*. Then people might want to spend time with you. CEO: I don't see how that could work. Dilbert: Can we get back to manipulating my emotions for financial gain?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reasoning, #excuse, #leadership, #Promotion, #promote

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.

Double Standard

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Double Standard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #language, #Women, #Men, #curse, #cursing, #swearing, #swear, #yelling, #fair, #fairness, #equality, #double-standard

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: There's a double-standard. Men can shout and curse and no one blinks. But if I say one stern word to someone, they call me "emotional." Dilbert: I've seen you make men cry during meetings. Alice: Only the wusses.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #freedom, #free will, #schedule, #work load, #stress, #free time, #breaks, #lunch

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Schedule your training during your lunch hours so it doesn't impact your projects. Dilbert: But... my lunch hour is the only freedom I experience in a typical day. The rest of my time is either scheduled to the minute or driven by whatever crisis is happening. Please don't take my lunch hour and reduce me to nothing but a prisoner in a digital chain gang. I'm barely clinging to my illusion of free will as it is. This could push me over the edge. If you take away my one hour of freedom in the day, I might as well be a robot. Boss: Relax. This is temporary. Dilbert: For how long? Boss: Until I can replace you with a robot.

Engineer With No Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Engineer With No Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #motivation, #cruelty, #abuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired an engineer who has no soul. This way, I won't feel so bad when I motivate him with emotional abuse. Dilbert: You're joking, right? Boss: Ha! You're right. I never feel bad about stuff.

First Ai As Smart As Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
First Ai As Smart As Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #invention, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #logic, #conspiracy, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.

Hallucinations At Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hallucinations At Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network

View Transcript

Transcript

in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.