Engineering Dept Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

323 Results for Engineering Dept

View 41 - 50 results for engineering dept comic strips. Discover the best "Engineering Dept" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering conference, #most valuable asset, #decline, #overtime, #assets decline, #fine art, #every year, #louve, #certification of depreciation, #earned your air

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is on stage behind a podium and speaks to the crowd. "The theme of this engineering conference is..." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice sit in the front row. The Boss continues, "Employees are our most valuable asset." He says, "And lik emost assets, you decline in value over time." He says, "I know what you're thinking: Not all assets decline in value." He says, "For example, fine art is worth more every year." The Boss points to an image of Wally and says, "But I don't think the Louvre will be asking for one of these anytime soon." The Boss introduces Catbert and says, "On your way our, Mister Catbert will give each one of you a certificate of depreciation." Wally says, "It's still better than last year's theme, "Have you earned your air today?" Catbert hands Dilbert his award.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lawsuit, #against company, #truth, #usual engineering, #no one understands, #whistleblower, #sound the same

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss stands behind Dilbert's cubicle. The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to testify in the lawsuit against our company." The boss says, "Tell the truth, but do it in your usual engineering way so that no one understands you." Dilbert says, "Actually, I've decidedd to be a whistle-blower." The boss says, "Whatever. It'll all sound the same!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clever disguiyse, #engineering job, #take the job, #fashionable engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Dilbert and Wally eat lunch. Alice says, "I'll wear a clever disguise then interview for the engineering job here." Alice says, "If he offers me more money than I make now, I'll take the job. Heh-heh" Alice sits on the boss' office diguised in a very high hat and a dark glasses. The boss says, "You're suspiciously fashionable for an engineer." Alice says, "I store tools up there."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idea, #change department name, #engineering, #similar idea, #marketing, #done, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally explains at a meeting: "My idea is to change our department name from engineering to..." He continues: "e-engineering." Wally says: "I'm working on a similar idea for marketing but it's not done yet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social misfits, #keep him away, #normal people, #engineering liason

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer working. The Boss approaches with a new employee. The Boss says to the new employee, "Dilbert is one of our social misfits." The Boss says to the new employee, "Your job is to keep him away from normal people." Dilbert, still facing his computer is obviously annoyed by what he is hearing. Unable to keep quiet, Dilbert yells without turning around, "Hello! I'm right here!" The Boss and the new employee unaffected by Dilbert's outburst, continue their conversation. The Boss says to the new employee, "Your title will be Engineering Liason."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering liason, #project staus, #translate for clients, #never completed, #idiot clients, #change requirements

View Transcript

Transcript

The Engineering Liason says to Dilbert, "Tell me your project status and I'll translate for our clients." Dilbert says, "The project will never be completed because our idiot clients change the requirements every other day." The Engineering Liason responds, "I'll just say you're drunk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new engineering liason, #claims of meaning

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally approaches the Engineering Liaison and says, "I understand you're the new Engineering Liaison." Wally asks, "Does that mean what I think it means?" She does not reply. Wally says to Asok, "She claims it doesn't mean that." Asok replies, "Ohhh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #promotion in title, #senior vice duke, #imperial majesty, #engineering, #business cards, #vice duke

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, I'm giving you a promotion in title." Ted replies, "Wow!" The Boss continues, "Now you're the Senior Vice Duke and Imperial Majesty of all engineering." Ted turns and asks the Boss, "Can I have business cards now?" The Boss answers, "No, you're only a Vice Duke."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #genetic anamolies, #genetic engineering, #grow on, #hand growing on head, #new temp, #temp agnecy, #wear goggles

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The Dogbert temp agency uses genetic engineering to grow our own workers. The Boss: Isn't that dangerous? Dogbert: I wear safety goggles. Temp: Im the new temp. Alice: Um Im alice.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #know first aid, #marketing, #picked intern, #engineering dead pool, #team building pot luck, #lunch, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern is lying on the floor with his legs sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert says to Wally, Alice and The Boss, "I'll see if the guys in marketing know First Aid." Ted says to Dilbert, "Really? I picked that intern in our engineering dead pool!" Dilbert says to Wally and Alice as Asok continues lying on the floor, "Apparently our team-building potluck lunch didn't take."