Excuses Comic Strips - Page 5
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
63 Results for Excuses
View 41 - 50 results for excuses comic strips. Discover the best "Excuses" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 16,
2016
Coworkers Hate Wally For Some Reason
Tags laziness, work ethic, excuses, ego, conceited, productivity
Transcript
Wally: My co-workers don't take me seriously because I'm so good looking. And I think they hate me for my brilliant mind. All I know is that they hate me. So if I seem unproductive, it's because of my beauty and brilliance.
Tuesday July 05,
2016
Wally Waits For People
Tags responsibility, laziness, work ethic, excuses
Transcript
Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.
Sunday July 03,
2016
Tags punctuality, late, excuses, traffic, sleep, time management, health
Transcript
Tina: Sorry I'm late. Traffic was terrible. Dilbert: Isn't the traffic from your house always terrible at this time of day? Tina: Exactly! That's why I'm late every day. Dilbert: Do you see any way you could fix that? Tina: I can't control the traffic. Dilbert: You could leave earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't get enough sleep. Dilbert; You could go to bed earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't have time to watch Netflix until two in the morning. Do you want me to hate my life? Dilbert: I didn't until now.
Friday September 02,
2016
Messages For The Boss
Tags communication, internet, modernity, attention, distraction, excuses, technology
Transcript
Boss: Why didn't you talk to me before making this decision? Dilbert: I left you a voicemail, an email, and a text message. I also messaged you on Skype, Slack, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook. Boss: Did you try leaving a note on my chair? Dilbert: It's stuck to your buttocks.
Monday December 19,
2016
Who's Turn To Lie
Tuesday June 06,
2017
Be Creative With Funding
Thursday July 27,
2017
Wally Secret Project
Saturday December 09,
2017
Elbonian Hackers Delete Wally's Report
Tags evidence, excuses, hackers, hacking, laziness, assignment, elbonians, a, zing report
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish your assignment? Wally: Yes, but Elbonian hackers deleted my report along with all of my backups. Boss: I have no way of knowing that's true. Wally: It was an amazing report! Better than you've ever seen.
Saturday February 03,
2018
Money Can't Buy Happiness
Tags happiness, work, motivation, meaning, money, raise, wages, excuses, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.
Sunday March 25,
2018
Tags team, teamwork, collaboration, excuses, group project, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.


