Exit Door Comic Strips - Page 5
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180 Results for Exit Door
View 41 - 50 results for exit door comic strips. Discover the best "Exit Door" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 02,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #servers down, #holdup, #iterated by idiot, #guard door, #don't see guy
Transcript
Boss: The servers are down. Dilbert: I know. Boss: You should do something about it. Dilbert: I'm trying. Boss: What's the holdup? Dilbert: I keep getting interrupted by an unhelpful idiot. Boss: Maybe I can help. I'll guard your doorway and keep that guy away from you. This is boring. And I don't see that guy. Have I managed enough for now? Dilbert: You nailed it.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday April 15,
2012
Tags #correlations, #predicted outcomes, #problem, #enormous ceo compensation, #myth, #control over profits, #awkward, #trap door, #ceo trick, #violent
Transcript
Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.
Wednesday April 26,
1989
Tags #walking, #hallway, #dignity, #Sports
Transcript
Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "Oh no . . . If this guy turns left when I go right, we'll end up walking down the hall right next to each other." The man turns and walks next to Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "I hate this . . . A huge, empty hallway and here we are synchronized like two of the Rockettes." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So that's when I knocked on the ladies' room door, yelled 'janitor' and ducked inside." Dogbert says, "At least you maintained your dignity."
Saturday July 29,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #pajama top, #covers, #bed
Transcript
Dogbert stands in the door of Dilbert's bedroom. Dilbert sits up in bed as Dogbert says, "I'm having nightmares, move over." Dilbert lets Dogbert climb into bed and says, "Just don't hog all the covers." Dilbert stands next to the bed and says, "At least give me my pajama top . . ." All of the covers, sheets and pillows are wrapped around Dogbert who says, "Shhh . . ."
Monday October 02,
1989
Tags #ed mcmahaon, #sweepstakes, #mailed, #forgot stamp, #mailed sweepsteak
Transcript
Dilbert answers the door and says, "Hello . . . Wait, aren't you . . .?" The person at the door answers, "Ed McMahon." Ed McMahon asks, "Do you remember that sweepstakes entry you mailed?" Dilbert replies excitedly, "Yes yes!!" Ed McMahon hands Dilbert a letter and says, "You forgot to put a stamp on it."
Tuesday October 03,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #devil, #lettuce, #kitchen, #rationalization
Transcript
Dilbert stands in the kitchen looking at a grocery receipt and thinking, "Looks like they under-charged me twelve cents on the lettuce." Dilbert thinks, "I should go back and give them the twelve cents. But I'm sure they would tell me to keep it for being so honest." Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and the Ruler of Heck, shows up at the door and says to Dogbert, ". . . I have a report of a flimsy rationalization in progress." Dogbert says, "Try the kitchen."
Tuesday December 05,
1989
Tags #garbage man, #Dilbert, #garbage, #equations, #engineer, #calculations
Transcript
Dilbert opens his door and the garbage man stands on the doorstep. The garbage man holds up a crumpled piece of paper and says, "Pardon me, sir, but I couldn't help noticing these equations in your garbage." The garbage man continues, "I took the liberty of correcting a few quantum calculations." Dilbert asks, "Gosh, why are you a garbage man?" The garbage man replies, "I think the question is 'why are YOU an engineer?'"
Saturday January 27,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #fancy hotels, #tip, #maid, #concierge, #french-sounding
Transcript
Dilbert's suitcase sits on a bed. Dilbert thinks, "I hate fancy hotels like this . . ." Dilbert reaches for the door and thinks, "Am I expected to tip the maid when I leave?" Dilbert thinks, "I could ask that concierge guy . . . Can I trust a guy with a French-sounding job? . . . And do I have to tip HIM?"
Tuesday May 29,
1990
Tags #frog, #Dogs, #Dogbert, #kiss, #princess, #props, #fool, #lady di, #margaritas, #Dilbert, #love, #witch
Transcript
The caption says, "Dilbert needs a kiss from a princess to remove the frog curse." Dilbert the Frog says to Dogbert, "It's hopeless . . ." Dogbert opens the closet door and says, "There's one chance, but we'll need some props." Dilbert is wearing a crown and a fake nose. Dilbert asks, "You seriously think this will fool Lady Di?" Dogbert replies, "I'd wait until she's had a few margaritas."
Tuesday July 03,
1990
Tags #dinosaur, #bob, #inside, #job, #sitting, #yuppie, #bigots, #called
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur stands at a man's door and says, "Hi. I'm Bob. I called earlier about the babysitting job." The man says, "To be honest, we didn't know you were a dinosaur when you called . . ." Bob replies, "That's okay. I didn't know you were yuppie bigots."