Fake Buy In Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

322 Results for Fake Buy In

View 41 - 50 results for fake buy in comic strips. Discover the best "Fake Buy In" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2000's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #strange words, #make sense, #pow, #buy card, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "Uh-oh...suddenly this meeting and all the strange words make sense." Wally's head explodes. Wally says to Dilbert, "It's your turn to buy the card."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #internal clients, #tracking, #fake bills, #helpful

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "We're going to start tracking our time spent with internal clients." The Boss continues, "I will cleverly send fake bills to other departments to show how helpful we are." Wally replies, "I can't help you. I'm busy with my time sheet."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #doomed projects, #fake mergencies, #more efficient, #unnecessary meetings, #to do list

View Transcript

Transcript

Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #hawaiian shirt day, #dishing punishment, #perks, #fake smile

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I declare next Friday to be 'Hawaiian Shirt Day'." Wally says as The Boss smiles, "Hey, you're disguising punishments as perks!" The Boss says to Catbert, "They're on to us." Catbert asks, "Did you try the fake smile?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #raises, #young employees, #few dollars, #buy small motorcyel, #crack cocaine, #be your mentor, #tickle my own fett, #perfect sat

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss sits across from Asok. The boss says, "Asok, I can't give raises to young employees." The boss says, "Because as soon as you get a few dollars in your pocket..." The boss says, "You buy small motorcycles a disappear in the night." The boss says, "I know that's a generalization." The boss says, "Some of you prefer the crack cocaine." Asok is mad. The boss says, "The good new is that I'm willing to be your mentor." Asok gets up and screams. Asok says, "Aaagh! I got double eight hundreds on my SAT!!! For what?!!" The boss walks Asok out. The boss says, "Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood I tickle my own feet."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #whos incredible list, #can buy book, #leather bound, #gullible

View Transcript

Transcript

Looking at a piece of paper, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Wow! I've been selected for the 'Who's Incredible' list!" Dilbert continues to Dogbert, "For seventy-five dollars I can buy a leather-bound book with my name in it!" Dilbert says, "Ha! And people said I was too gullible to be a success!" Dogbert reads the piece of paper, "Dear Occupant."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #criminal record, #police, #fake name, #quality of assignments, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits across from the Boss. The Boss says, "Wally, now that you have a criminal record, I can't let you work on anything important." Wally replies, "I don't have a criminal record. I gave the police a fake name." Wally approaches Asok the Intern at his desk and says, "You might notice a change in the quality of your assignments."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #rave review, #buy review, #new movie, #afford, #full price range, #new years day, #best comedy so far, #this year

View Transcript

Transcript

A Hollywood type says into the telephone, "Hello.. Yes, I'd like to buy a rave review for my new movie." Dogbert, on the other end of the line, replies, "Can you afford the 'suspenseful thrill ride' or would you like something more in the 'delightful' price range." The man responds, "I'm releasing it on New Year's Day, Can you give me a price for 'Best Comedy So Far This Year?'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #moral money, #doing hood, #buy prodcuts, #logo, #coffee mug, #ten million dollars, #morale dollars

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "Introducing 'Morale Money.' Now you can earn money for doing good work." The Boss continues, "You can use it at the company store to buy products that have our logo." Dilbert is at the company store's cash register holding a mug. The employee says, "The coffee mug costs ten million morale dollars."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock market expert, #buy stocks, #fundamentals, #go on tv

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Dogbert is standing on his desk. Dogbert says, "I'd be a good stock market expert." Dogbert continues, "I'd buy stocks and then go on TV and recommend them so they go up." Dilbert asks, "What about the fundamentals?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't get more fundamental than that!"