Search Results for "family emergencies"
Share March 03, 2008's comic on:
CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"
Share December 23, 2008's comic on:
Topper Returns Dilbert says, "I dreamed I was wearing a goat costume." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I donated all of my organs to sick people. Now I use my hollow torso like a backpack." "Dilbert says, "And I tried to go on a date." Topper says, "See my zipper? I took in a family of squirrels!"
Share November 14, 2009's comic on:
the boss says, "Do you have any relatives?" Man says, "Yes, I have a huge family." The boss says, "In any given week, how many of them are dying, graduating, going to jail, or getting married?" Man says, "Maybe?six." The Boss says, "When would you have time to work?" Man says, "I have to go. Someone fell out of a tree."
Share September 19, 2007's comic on:
Man: "Alice, Did you hear I'm getting a cubicle by the window?" Alice: "Although I wouldn't want that cubicle because of the glare, the fact that you want it makes me hate you for getting it." Man: "We're like a family here." Alice: "I hope it collapses on your head!"
Share November 22, 2007's comic on:
Catbert: "We've decided to be more family friendly in our policies." "To compensate for the lost productivity, we'll be openly hostile to single people." Dilbert: "That doesn't seem fair." Catbert: "Shut up and get back to work, eunuch!"
Share November 23, 2007's comic on:
Tags #family friendly policy, #implemented, #children, #parents, #needs of family, #school, #sick, #rugby game, #denta;appoitments, #responsibility of parent, #surprised, #Family, #education, #medical
Carol: "I'd like to take advantage of our new family friendly policy." "Three of my kids have bronchitis, two have dental appointments, one is in a school play, and one has a rugby game." "In all likelihood, you will never see me again." The boss: "We didn't think this through."
Share August 31, 2003's comic on:
Matt: "Hi, I'm Matt. It's my first day here." Dilbert: "I'm Dilbert." "And this is..." Wally: "I'd rather not say." "I prefer to remain anonymous, so you won't feel comfortable asking me for anything later on." Wally: "Here's my card. It's blank." Dilbert: "The phrase that you're least likely to hear today is, 'We're just like family.'" "Are you worried that he'll turn over the card and see your name?" Wally: "No." Dilbert: "Was that MY card?" Wally: "I've been handing them out for years."
Share May 28, 2013's comic on:
Asok: I'm afraid to give Alice my opinion of her plan. Dilbert: What's the worst thing that could happen? Asok: She could rip off both of my arms and beat me to death with them. Then she could track down my family in India and kill them one by one. Is this your first time giving advice? Dilbert: I just figured out why no one ever asks for it.
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Share October 16, 2013's comic on:
Dogbert: Executive Coach Dogbert: You need to focus on your career or your family. You can't do both. CEO: I don't have a family. Dogbert: Actually, you're married and you have four kids. CEO: That sounds like a huge hassle. Dogbert: Perhaps you've already chosen.