Fast Moving Comic Strips - Page 5
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168 Results for Fast Moving
View 41 - 50 results for fast moving comic strips. Discover the best "Fast Moving" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 17,
2017
Management Fast Track
Tags #talent, #management, #potential, #frustration
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.
Saturday August 05,
2017
Lips Stopped Moving
Tags #earbuds, #listening, #distraction, #ignoring, #busted, #caught
Transcript
Dilbert: I saw packaging for wireless earbuds in the trash. Is that why you suddenly seem to be a good listener? Dogbert: Uh-oh. His lips stopped moving.
Friday January 21,
2011
Tags #prosperity, #competition (psychology)
Transcript
The Boss says, "We're not creative enough to create whole new markets, the way apple does." The Boss says, "And we're not powerful enough for a fast follower strategy." The Boss says, "What we need is a sexy, strategic-sounding name for crumb-snatching." Dilbert says, "Niche player?"
Tuesday May 31,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #office buildings, #open workspace, #environemnt, #crying baby spunds, #more distractions
Transcript
Boss: The company is considering moving from cubicles to an open workspace environment. Dilbert: Great idea. Can we add some crying babies and the sound of water dripping? Boss: You're being stupid. Dilbert: Maybe I'll be smarter when I have more distractions.
Monday June 20,
2011
Tags #employees, #gloating, #quit working, #won lotery, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: If you won the lottery, would you quit working? Wally: I quit working years ago, but I might start gloating if it isn't too hard. Dilbert: Gloating doesn't sound hard. Wally: Can I do it without moving any facial muscles? I have weak eyebrows.
Sunday August 14,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?
Sunday November 27,
2011
Tags #frustration, #gadgets, #smartphone interface rage, #perfect storm, #bad interface design, #chubby fingers, #poor signal strenth, #smashing phone, #frustrated, #can't survive, #lesser of two eveils
Transcript
Dilbert: Whoa! Watch out. I've read about this. It's called smartphone interface rage. It's caused by the perfect storm of bad interface design, chubby fingers, and poor signal strength. He'll get so frustrated that he'll consider smashing his phone. Then he'll realize he can't survive without his phone and he'll be twice as frustrated. We have to do something. Wally: Run as fast as you can into the wall! It will take your mind off of your phone! Sometimes the best you can hope for is that the lesser of two evils is the funny one.
Sunday March 11,
2012
Tags #cloud, #email, #internet speak, #lingo, #meetings, #pretending, #text, #understanding technology, #wi fi, #skype
Transcript
Boss: Did you get the email I texted to you? Co-worker: What? That doesn't even make sense. What the heck is wrong with you? Dilbert: Let it go. He slips in and out of understanding basic technology. Boss: Do we have enough room in the cloud for Skype? Because if we don't, we can store some files on the wi-fi. Dilbert: I got this. We have plenty of space because we upgraded to a cumulonimbus cloud. Boss: Very good. Moving on.
Thursday May 31,
2012
Tags #shared leadership, #model, #piece of role, #blame
Transcript
Boss: I'm moving to a shared leadership model. Each of you will take on one piece of the leadership role. Dilbert: What's my piece? Boss: Let's see. I have you down for something called... blame.
Monday June 04,
2012
Tags #monkeys, #big picture, #motivated, #monkey, #assignment, #eating banana, #imitating monkey, #animals
Transcript
Dilbert: I would feel more motivated if I knew how my assignment fits into the big picture. Boss: You don't need to be motivated. A monkey could do your assignment while eating a banana. Like this. Ooh-ooh-ooh! Dilbert: I think we're moving in the wrong direction.