Feel Useful Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

492 Results for Feel Useful

View 41 - 50 results for feel useful comic strips. Discover the best "Feel Useful" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #ergonomic evaluation, #key board, #supposed to hurt, #feel hands, #whole body numb

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. Asok the intern asks stiffly, "May I have an ergonomic evaluation of my chair and keyboard?" The Boss responds, "Asok, work is supposed to hurt. That's how you know you're doing it right." Asok exclaims, "I can't feel my hands!" To which The Boss replies, "My whole body is numb!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #more useful, #bizarre absolute, #feature

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a coworker, "We should add this feature to our product to make it more useful." The coworker responds, "Are you telling me that not ONE person on Earth will use our product without that feature?!!? Dilbert says, "You changed what I said into a bizarre absolute." The coworker exclaims, "Oh, I change everything you say?!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #feel guilty, #enhance stockholder value

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert says to Wally, "Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough to enhance stockholder value." Dilbert asks, "Do you ever feel that way?" Wally pours the entire coffee pot into his mouth: "Glug Glug Glug." Wally hands Dilbert the empty coffee pot. Dilbert says, "I'll take that as a No."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #have none, #intern, #know how, #semi colons, #skills, #teaching, #tech suport, #useful skills, #cubicle, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina pokes her head into Asok's cubicle and says to him: "Asok, can you help me install an ethernet card?" Asok says to Tina: "Tina, I am not your personal tech support." Tina says: "But you know how to do it and I don't." Asok says: "Well...that is true." Tina says to Asok: "Could you carry the PC to my new cubicle? It's too heavy for me." Tina says: "Someday I'll repay you by teaching you about semicolons." Asok says: "How come I have many useful skills and you have none?" Tina answers: "I guess I'm just lucky." Asok carries the computer looking angry.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #job, #department, #manager, #pretend job useful, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "Um.. you gave me an assignment that isn't my job and doesn't need to be done." The Boss replies, "I'm trying to take over another department by doing their work. Later I'll say their manager should report to me." Dilbert says, "Could we at least pretend my job is useful?" The Boss replies, "Don't I always?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #roboboss, #good work, #compliments employees, #shallow compliment, #feel good, #high five

View Transcript

Transcript

Roboboss says to Alice, "I am Roboboss. You are a valuable asset. Keep up the good work." Alice replies, "That is the most shallow compliment I have ever heard. But it still made me feel good." Alice continues, "So.. Are you seeing anyone?" Roboboss replies, "High five!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2002's comic on:


Tags #coffee with the boss, #meeting, #feel free, #don't hold back, #squeaky chair, #ungrateful wretch, #name calling, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "You're the first employee for my 'Coffee with the Boss' program." The Boss continues, "Feel free to say whatever is on your mind. Don't hold back. Give it to me straight." Dilbert says, "My chair has a squeak." The Boss yells, "You ungrateful whiny wretch!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #beginning to feel, #daily, #defective, #hreatened, #vendor comparison

View Transcript

Transcript

A coworker is sitting at his computer. Dilbert asks him, "Did you finish the vendor comparison that you promised you'd give me today?" The coworker mutters, "No." The coworker says, "I'm one of those people that needs to be threatened every day or I won't do anything." Dilbert says, "You're very defective." The coworker responds, "Good start. I'm beginning to feel something."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #reducing inventory, #sell to cutomers, #feel free, #tell board, #idea

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Wally and Dilbert, "Does anyone have a suggestion for reducing our inventory?" Wally responds, "Let's sell it to our customers." The Boss asks, "Would that work?" Wally replies, "Feel free to tell the board that it's your idea."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #evil hr dircetor, #layoffs, #improve moral, #making tough deciosn, #feel more optimistic, #your fired

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert is sitting behind his desk, an employee is standing before him. Catbert says, "I'm reminding everyone that layoffs can improve morale." Catbert continues, "Layoffs prove that management is capable of making tough decisions to turn things around!" The employee responds, "You're right! I do feel more optimistic now!" Catbert adds, "Secondly, you're fired."