Fetch Coffee Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

358 Results for Fetch Coffee

View 41 - 50 results for fetch coffee comic strips. Discover the best "Fetch Coffee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appliances, #lewd condcut, #plea bargain, #plead guilty, #stealing computer, #mr coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table wearing handcuffs. Dogbert sits next to him. A lawyer says, "You're accused of stealing a computer. We'll reduce the charge to 'lewd conduct with appliances' if you'll plead guilty." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "That sounds fair. People will understand it's just a plea bargain." Wally enters the office kitchen and asks Dilbert, "Would you like a minute alone with 'Mr. Coffee'?"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new org chart, #graphical lay out, #mentor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "The new org chart has my name lower than yours, but it doesn't mean anything." Dilbert shows Wally the chart and says, "See? It wouldn't all fit across the page. It's just a graphical layout thing, that's all." Alice holds out her coffee mug and says, "Hey, Dil-boy, put a head on this and fetch my mail." Wally asks Dilbert, "Are you asking me to be your mentor?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success at work, #coffee cup, #document, #whats in hands, #binder, #cigarette, #good or bad

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert tells Dilbert, "Your success at work depends on what you have in your hands when you walk around." Dogbert continues, "A coffee cup is bad. A document is good. A cigarette is bad. A binder is good. But the very worst thing . . ." Dilbert meets Wally in the hallway. Wally carries a coffee mug and a newspaper. Dilbert says, "It doesn't look like you're heading for the fast track, Wally." Wally replies, "Actually, I am, unless it's occupied."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brought dilbert, #competitors product, #cover cost, #cup of coffee, #makes product special, #visiting the customer, #deceptive advertising

View Transcript

Transcript

Kenny and Dilbert sit at a conference table with a customer. Kenny tells the man, "I brought Dilbert to explain what makes our product special." Dilbert says, "It's exactly like our competitor's product except we charge more to cover the cost of our deceptive advertising." The man gets up and leaves the room. Dilbert says, "While you're up, could you get me a cup of coffee?" Kenny looks angry.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presumed dead, #like to work, #finished three projects, #lost five pounds, #gave up coffee, #seven patents, #everyone prodcutive, #life without mangement, #paradise, #spoon hug

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are wearing casual clothes. Dilbert is dancing and Wally sits at his computer. Wally says, "Now that our Boss is presumed dead, I found I like to work." Dilbert says, "I finished three projects today!" Alice leans into the cubicle and says, "I lost five pounds, gave up coffee, and applied for seven patents!" Dilbert says, "Go, Alice!" Wally says, "Life without management is like paradise!" Tina the Tech Writer walks in and says, "Who wants to spoon-hug?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #write resume, #large fee, #Dogbert, #having trouble, #invented coffee, #patent

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil, former ruller of Heck, now head of the Analogy Police, says to Dogbert, "Can you help me write a resume?" Dogbert obliges, "Yes, for a large fee." Phil says, "How do I know you're qualified." Dogbert says, "Check my resume." Phil says, "I have a hard time believing you invented coffee." Dogbert rebutts, "Check my patent."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rag man, #project luser, #budget cuts, #beg for resources, #pencil shavings, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Man comes up to Dilbert and introduces himself, "I'm the Rag Man from Project Luser." Rag Man says, "Budget cuts have hit our project hard. I'm forced to beg for resources." Dilbert holds out something and says, "I can spare some pencil shavings." Rag Man says, "Excellent! We make coffee out of that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no charismatic leaders, #cable tv, #scandal, #diversion, #great news story, #fertility drugs, #in coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sitting on a chair with a crown on his head while Garbage Man holds garbage bag. Dogbert asks, "Why are there no charismatic leaders anymore?" Garbage Man responds, "Cable TV." While placing garbage in dump truck, Garbage Man says, "Scandal is the most economical way to fill news programs. They'll go after you, too." Dogbert says, "I'll need a diversion." Dogbert and Dilbert on couch. Dilbert says, "I don't care if its a great news atory; I will NOT take fertility drugs!" Dogbert says, "They're in your coffee."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fertility drugs, #coffee, #tabloids, #million dollars, #doctor, #agent, #Advice, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally looking at a bloated Dilbert. Dilbert says, "My dog put fertility drugs in my coffee." Dilbert continues, "At first I was mad. Then the tabloids offered me a million dollars for my story." Wally inquires, "Have you seen a doctor?" Dilbert replies, "My agent advises against that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vision thing, #boss, #visions, #donuts, #coffee, #big house, #servents, #over rated, #gardener, #everyone laid off

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "As your leader it's my job to provide a vision." "But frankly, I'm not seeing anything." Wally: "Have another donut. Sometimes the sugar helps." The Boss: "It's working. I'm getting something, but it's fuzzy." Alice: "Quick! Try my coffee!" The boss: "Mmph!" "Oh yeah, there it is. Oh-oh-oh." "It looks like I'll be living in a big house with servants. And you'll all get laid off." Dilbert: "This vision thing is overrated." Wally: "So; do you have a gardener lined up yet?"