Final Phase Comic Strips - Page 5
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71 Results for Final Phase
View 41 - 50 results for final phase comic strips. Discover the best "Final Phase" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 20,
2002
Tags #nuclear power plant, #our process, #gather customer requirements, #free electricity, #mutating, #xray vision
Transcript
Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "None of us has designed a nuclear power plant before but we can figure it out by using our process." Dilbert continues, "In phase one we will gather customer requirements." Asok is meeting with a customer. Asok says, "So.. you want free electricity without mutating, unless the mutation gives you X-Ray vision." The customer responds, "Yep."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday July 08,
2004
Tags #more time, #no shaving, #all forms of hygiene, #unwashed telecommunting, #clown shoes, #long toe nails
Transcript
"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."
Saturday September 03,
2005
Transcript
I'm the editor of the department newsletter. That makes you my cub reporter. "Cub reporter??? I have an engineering degree from the India Institute of Technology - the most challenging university on the planet." "That'll come in handy during the copying phase. We get some fierce paper jams."
Wednesday October 19,
2005
Tags #delete incriminating email, #witness to crime, #no good plan
Transcript
I need you to delete all of our incriminating e-mails before the court sees them. "That plan is no good because I'd be a witness to the crime...unless you had me killed." "Phase Two is none of your concern." "It has a phase???"
Thursday February 21,
2013
Tags #fear, #nasa, #tracking satellite, #asteroid
Transcript
Dilbert: I found a backdoor into NASA's asteroid tracking satellite. I see that a big one is heading directly toward... Gaaaa!!! Dogbert: What? What? Dilbert: I must fill my final days with love. Dogbert: You ruined my ears, jerk!
Monday May 05,
2008
Tags #count on cooperation, #scent of failure, #bath, #submerged, #fix it
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Can I could on your cooperation for the next phase of the project?" Woman says, "No." Woman says, "You emit the musky scent of failure. Women can detect that sort of thing." Dilbert says, "Would a bath fix it?" Woman says, "How long are you willing to stay submerged?"
Saturday September 06,
2008
Tags #evil director, #human resources, #mandatory stretch, #employee welness, #good and flexible, #new place, #tuck your head, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We're instituting a mandatory stretch period every day." Asok says, "This is surprising because human resources usually doesn't care about employee wellness." Catbert says, "Phase one is just to get you good and flexible. Phase two involves a new place to tuck your head."
Wednesday May 26,
2010
Tags #control men, #plan, #exaggerate, #overwork, #overextend, #yell, #important, #panic, #coffee
Transcript
Alice says, "I learned to control men by exaggerating the importance of my projects and overextending myself." Alice says, "Our most important customer is coming and I won't be ready on time unless you fetch me some coffee!" Alice says, "In phase two, I make you enjoy it."
Saturday August 14,
2010
Tags #mother, #son, #sarcastic, #plant, #flower pot, #web only company, #imagination, #Family
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My company is going to a web-only business model." Mom says, "That's terrific." Mom says, "What's phase three? Does it involve operating only in your own imagination?" Dilbert says, "Be nice." Mom says, "Maybe you can help me grow this plant back into a seed."
Wednesday October 13,
2010
Tags #consult, #customer data, #money, #meeting, #front, #ethical, #enemy, #business
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "Customer data is an asset that you can sell." Dogbert says, "It's totally ethical because our customers would do the same thing to us if they could." The Boss says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "In phase one, we'll dehumanize the enemy by calling them 'data.'"