Financial Sunsidary Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

64 Results for Financial Sunsidary

View 41 - 50 results for financial sunsidary comic strips. Discover the best "Financial Sunsidary" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #finances, #violence, #Dilbert, #christmas, #social, #life, #mortgage, #gift, #hat, #sale, #yule, #log

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I thought you might need help deciding what to get me for Christmas." Dogbert says, "I started by doing a complete analysis of your financial situation." Dogbert continues, "Your utter lack of a social life has resulted in significant cash reserves." Dogbert continues, "That combined with a second mortgage would make $50,000 available for my gift." Dilbert says, "I bought you a hat." Dogbert looks at Dilbert. Dilbert says, "It was on sale." Dogbert walks away saying, "It seems that every year at about this time I feel like beating somebody senseless with a yule log."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #ceo selling stock, #portfolio, #routine diversification, #sell, #sudden panic, #employees, #boss, #ceo, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Studying company financial information at his terminal, Dilbert exclaims: "Yikes! Our CEO is selling his stock!" At the Boss's office, the Boss reassures Dilbert: "Don't worry. It's routine diversification of his portfolio." Dilbert says: "Oh...I guess that's okay." Meanwhile the Boss stares at his computer screen and furiously works the keyboard as he thinks to himself: "Sell, sell, sell."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock market expert, #core holding, #dead cat bounce, #secret economic model, #book sales, #financial markets

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert is seen through a TV screen. He says, "If your core holding is a falling knife, you can dollar cost average through the dead cat bounce." A man is watching TV on his couch. Dogbert's voice continues, "My secret economic model says you should change your cash allocation from 12.4% to 12.3%." Dogbert and the TV interviewer are seen through a spilt screen on the TV. Dogbert says, "My new book is, 'If you aren't churning, you aren't learning." The interviewer replies, "Don't come back."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2004's comic on:


Tags #hot mess employee, #magnet for problems, #wally stalks her

View Transcript

Transcript

"My life is a rolling disaster." "I'm a magnet for all problems legal, financial, medical and romantic." "Uh-oh... I sense another disaster brewing." wally: "Shes cute. I think I'll stalk her every day."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

You're in charge of installing the system that Lyin' John sold to our biggest customer. "Lyin' John neglected to include the network and server in his sale. This is a financial sinkhole." "You take the joy out of delegating."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2007's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #finances, #money, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Financial Advisor Man: You've made a lot of money as a demotivational speaker. I recommend allocating 2% of it to me, and 98% to things that sound good if you don't look into them too closely. How about a managed stock fund with high churn and a big front-end load? Wally: Sounds good.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #report, #oil rigs, #explode, #medicine, #bacteria, #pharmaceuticals, #government, #share holder, #success, #lie

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I'm happy to report that none of our oil rigs exploded." The Boss says, "Our children's pharmaceuticals are not tainted with bacteria, and the government is not investigating our financial practices." The Boss says, "All we're doing is quietly losing share-holder value." CEO says, "I knew it would feel like success if we kept at it!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #bank, #buyout, #financial crisis, #economy, #ridicule

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Now that you've run your bank into the ground, I plan to buy it for a dollar." Dogbert says, "In phase two I'll use common business words to insult you for a job poorly done." Dogbert says, "What do you think of that, you big fiduciary bag?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #greed, #meeting, #evil, #anger, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Our new financial product is a hybrid of risky mortgage loans and a ponzi scheme." Dogbert says, "We'll cover our bad losses with our profits from making even worse loans." Dogbert says, "I'll need some wagging room while It tell you how this ties into my bonus structure."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #dating, #flirting, #dinner, #afraid, #confused, #yelling, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "You're not my type. Why am I attracted to you? How did you do this, you monster!" Dilbert says, "In troubling economic times, my financial stability appeals to your survival instincts. It's basic evolution." Woman says, "Gaaa!!! That made me bored and aroused at the same time!" Dilbert says, "Science!"