Search Results for "financial troll"
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Character
Wednesday March 08,
2006
Tags #finance troll, #not in budeget, #eats employee, #prototype
Transcript
"And then we'll build a second prototype and..." "IT'S NOT IN THE BUDGET." "Oh, suddenly it's my fault for caring about the budget."
Wednesday January 30,
2008
Tags #financial planner, #health care, #squalor, #diversified portfolio, #bacon, #secrets, #planning, #dog advice
Transcript
Dogbert the financial planner Dogbert: With advances in health care, you could live to be 200. If you have a good financial plan, only the last 120 years will be spent in squalor. I recommend a diversified portfolio. And bacon."
Thursday January 31,
2008
Tags #dog, #financial planner, #troglodyte, #Advice, #soften up, #meeting, #insult, #yell, #scream, #put down, #animals, #business
Transcript
Dogbert the financial planner Dogbert: Investing is far too complicated for your tiny brain. You are a financial troglodytle!!!" Man: Do I get some advice now? Dogbert: No, our first meeting is just to soften you up.
Thursday August 07,
2008
Tags #financial bakery, #abuse, #zero units, #cook books, #foot notes, #smell like feet
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Welcome to 'Dogbert's Financial Bakery.' How may I abuse you?" A man says, "We shipped zero units this quarter. Can you cook our books?" Dogbert says, "Of course." The man says, "Will anyone know?" Dogbert says, "Sometimes the footnotes smell like actual feet."
Thursday November 27,
2008
Tags #boss, #budget, #clothes, #drastic budget cuts, #dramatic, #how much cut, #buzzards seem selective
Transcript
Finance troll: We need to make drastic budget cuts. The boss: Let's not get all dramatic. Just tell me how much to cut and I'll make it happen. Dilbert: On the plus side,, the buzzards seem selective.
Thursday December 11,
2008
Tags #computer, #financial, #trouble, #new computer, #executive suite, #no visitors, #vacant offcies, #financial troubles, #old computer, #vacant office, #technology
Transcript
The boss: We need your new computer for the empty office in the executive suite. We don't want any visitors to see vacant offices. They might think we're having financial troubles. Dilbert: Why don't we put my old computer in the vacant office? My boss: That's crazy talk.
Saturday December 13,
2008
Tags #Advice, #bad idea, #saving & investment, #financial advisor, #diseased livestock, #sick cow, #aggregate, #math, #savvy, #education, #money
Transcript
Dogbert the financial adviser Dogbert: You should invest all of your money is diseased livestock. It would be unwise to invest in one sick cow, but if you aggregate a bunch of them together the risk goes away. It's called math. The boss: Suddenly I feel all savvy.
Tuesday December 16,
2008
Tags #office workers, #valuable, #value, #legacy system, #less valuable, #never appear less valuable, #dress code troll
Transcript
Dilbert: I worry that being assigned to work on the legacy systems will make me appear less valuable in the future. Catbert: You have my word that you could never appear less valuable than you are now. Gilbert: Why do your assurances make me feel worse? Catbert: Your new dress code is "troll."
Wednesday December 17,
2008
Tags #eat, #scare, #Word, #troll, #dress code, #cubicle, #scaring vendors, #word gets around
Transcript
Dilbert: I got reassigned to manage our legacy systems. The dress code is "troll." My cubicle is under the walkway. My side job is scaring vendors. Dogbert: Is that hard? Dilbert: Only the first day. After you eat one vendor, work gets around.
Thursday December 18,
2008
Tags #complain, #garbage, #job, #trash, #new assignment, #troll in charge, #legacy systems, #shouldn't complain, #economy, #free bag of garbage, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: My new assignment is "troll in charge of the legacy systems." I guess I shouldn't complain. I'm lucky to have a job in this economy. Garbageman: Would a free bag of garbage make you feel better? Dilbert: A little.