Fur Sale Comic Strips - Page 5
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Catbert peers over the cubicle wall at Alice and says, "Alice you have to use your vacation time or you'll lose it." Alice grimaces as Catbert says, "But if you take time off, you'll miss your deadlines." Catbert laughs wickedly. Catbert walks away, his normally smooth fur is puffed out. Catbert thinks, "This is embarrassing. I laughed myself fuzzy."
A man holds a baseball and says, "Wow... a softball signed by Martin Luther, leader of the Protestant Reformation." The man hands the ball to Dogbert. "I'm impressed, but what I'm looking for is something signed by Martin Luther King Jr." The man says, "Too bad you don't have anything from him." Dogbert scribbles on a baseball with a pen and says, "Check back in ten minutes."
A security guard says, "Have a nice night, Dilbert." The guard continues, "You can rest easy knowing I'll be guarding the building all night." The security guard continues, "To a criminal, this place must look like a big ol' shopping mall." The guard continues, "The cubicles are like little stores, each with it's own selection of quality merchandise." The guard continues, "If you knew where to look, you could get picture frames, postage stamps, clocks, and even footwear." Dilbert replies, "Oddly enough, you and the janitor are the only ones here at night, and yet my snack drawer keeps getting emptied." The security guard looks guilty and says, "It's totally inexplicable. Well, good night." The janitor asks the guard, "Shall we head over to 'Chez Dilbert'?" The security guard replies, "Later . . . There's a sale at 'Wally's Shoe World.'"
Dilbert sits at a conference table with a salesperson. Dilbert says, "...And we'll buy a dozen of these. We're trying to spend our budget so it doesn't get cut next year." The salesperson says, "This is great! You guys are so dumb that I don't even have to use my fake personality to make the sale!" Dilbert says, "...And nine of these blue things." Salesperson turns away and pulls his pants down. The salesperson says, "There's a full moon on the horizon!"
Wally and Dilbert look in on the Boss who is working on his computer. Wally says, "Nothing is more dangerous than a boss with a spreadsheet." The boss types. The Boss thinks, "If I increase the page number, our sales go up. I'm onto something." Dilbert, The Boss and Wally sit in a meeting. The Boss says, "On page 843 the sale would be higher, but I was exausted."
Dilbert wears a backpack and carries rope. Dilbert says, "I'm going to capture the queen bee of marketing." Dogbert's ears fly up and his fur stands on end. Dogbert says, "No matter what she says, do't be seduced by her marketing buzz." A huge bee lady sits on a throwm looking at a piece of paper. A man says, "A man with a rope is here to see you. I wan't loyal enough to stop him."
The Boss sees Alice at her desk and asks, "Why are our software expenses higher than marketing's software expenses?" Alice replies, "For the same reason monkey's don't wear watches." Caption reads: "One hour later." The Boss returns and asks, "Does it involve fur in any way?"
Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert sits behind a desk in front of a camera. The cameraman hands him a microphone and says, "Clip this microphone to your fur. We're live in two." Dogbert responds, "Make sure my tail is off camera. I'll be recommending stocks I own and that sort of thing makes me wag." The cameraman thinks to himself, "Someday I gotta get honest work."
Dilbert is at his computer typing, Dogbert is sitting on the desk on top of a sheet of paper. Dilbert says: "My anti-spam software is complete." Dilbert says: "It checks my incoming e-mail for key words." Dilbert says: "Then it deletes anything that looks like an advertisement." Dogbert says: "Suppose a beatiful woman sends you a message saying..." Dogbert says: "I am a model for Victoria's Secret. I want to date you on my sailboat." Dogbert says: "But she spells sail s-a-l-e." "What then?" Dilbert stares at the computer. Dilbert asks Dogbert: "What's she wearing?"
SALE: DIlbert is standing in a shoe store looking around. Alan, a salesman from behind asks, "Do you have any questions?" Dilbert turns and asks, "What's your best running shoe?" The salesman replies, "They're all the same. Sneakers are sneakers." The store manager interrupts, "Alan, may I have a word with you?" Dilbert continues to inspect the shoes as the manager and salesman are conferencing in the back. The salesman returns and says, "The expensive sneakers are far superior." Dilbert replies, "I'll take them!" The salesman thinks, "I feel like I'm clubbing a baby seal." Dilbert is holding up a sneaker and asks, "Will these work with my old socks?"