Go On Tv Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for go on tv comic strips. Discover the best "Go On Tv" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #go fatser, #set tone, #control, #opinions are treason, #name calling, #intimidation, #corporations, #little guy, #meeting, #tone of intimidation, #condescending, #business

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CEO Visit CEO: "My meetings go faster when I set the tone." "Opinions are treason." "Do you have any opinions, Doofy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #fly to austin, #customer, #call big cutsomers, #go inperson, #telephone, #show you care, #concept of phone

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Dilbert sits at the Boss' desk in his office and the Boss says to him, "Fly to Austin and answer some questions for a big customer." Dilbert asks, "Doesn't this customer have a telephone?" The Boss replies in shock as he thrusts his arms out to the side. "You don't call big customers!" Obviously confused, Dilbert aks "Um...why not?" In an exasperated voice, The Boss replies "You have to go in person to show that you care." Still not catching on, Dilbert replies "Actually, that would show that I didn't understand the concept of the telephone.? Now completely disgusted, The Boss replies "Just go." Dilbert is now sitting at a table with Ted who holds a phone in his hand and asks, "Do they have these where you come from?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #wages, #saved company millions, #no bonus, #ceo plans, #500 million, #acquisitions, #go team, #money

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Boss: Alice, your great work this year saved the company $10 million. But I can't give you a bonus because our CEO plans to write down $500 million for acquisitions gone bad. Go team!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #win battle, #developing better tv sets, #digital couch, #butt warmer, #bottle opener, #back scratcher, #control lights, #temperature, #buttocks like a mouse

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Wally: The biggest tech companies want to win the battle for your living room. But they are unwisely focusing on developing better TV sets. Today I give you me design for a fully digital couch. It has all of the features you would expect, including a butt warmer, surround sound, bottle opener and back scratcher. But you can also control the lights, curtains, temperature and TV by using your buttocks like a mouse on the seat cushion. This is a loft click and... this is a right. The prototype arrives tomorrow, and I'll be testing it for the next six months. Maybe I'll sell my house.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #date, #stories of woe, #no tv or internet, #carving canoe, #woman runs out

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My cable system wasn't working last night. I didn't have TV or internet. Dilbert: So I stared at the wall until it was time for bed. I considered carving a canoe out of a tree trunk, but it seemed like a lot of work. Woman: Check!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #tv newsroom, #switches off brain, #abilities, #science segment, #film celebrities, #rational decisions

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TV Newsroom Dilbert says, "I invented a drug that switches off the brain's ability to make rational decisions." Dilbert says, "I think it would make a good story for your science segment." Man says, "Or we could drug-dart celebrities and film what happens." Dilbert says, "For science, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #cost estimate, #deny, #numbers, #manipulate, #decisions, #hurt, #typing at computer, #humming noise, #annoy, #go away, #angry face, #home, #sitting on couch

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Coworker says, "Can I get a rough cost estimate for the design phase?" Dilbert says, "No. I don't trust you with numbers." Coworker says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You're the kind of guy who will remove useful qualifiers and distribute a figure as if it is true in all cases." Dilbert says, "Decisions will be made. People will get hurt." Dilbert says, "For everyone's sake, the safest thing I can do is make an annoying humming sound until you go away." Dilbert says, "Hummmmm-mmmmmmmmm-mmmmm." Dilbert says, "Half of life is making people go away." Dogbert says, "Humm-mmmm"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2010's comic on:


Tags #mother, #son, #help, #rebate, #laptop, #tv, #ringtone, #scheme, #plan, #yell, #phone call, #Family

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Mom says, "Dilbert, could you help me fill out this rebate form the next time you visit?" Dilbert says, "Sure, mom." Mom says, "Also, my laptop keeps crashing." Dilbert says, "I'll take a look at it." Mom says, "My TV is acting up again too." Mom says, "And maybe you could show me how to change my ringtone." Dilbert says, "Do you really need all of that help?" Dilbert says, "Or is this an elaborate scheme to inoculate against me ever wanting to move back home?" Mom says, "We have a bad connection! What? What? What?" Mom thinks, "That should buy me another six months."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2007's comic on:


Tags #meeting staff, #chain of command, #fake hone calls, #hanging around office, #waiting to get off phone, #weirdo, #go away

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Ned: I enjoyed meeting your staff. Keep up the good work. Dilbert: This isn't my staff. I report to the guy who reports to you." Ned: Really? Which one of you reports to me?" Well, that explains why you keep hanging around outside my office. The Boss: I've been going to your office for years, waiting for you to get off the phone so I could talk to you. Ned: I've been making fake phone calls for years, hoping the weirdo outside my office would go away." Keep up the good work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceos son, #joining dept., #intern, #mentor, #little spy, #tell hi dad, #list of compliments, #go somewhere, #three questions, #desk, #kill him

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The boss: "Our CEO's son is joining the department as an intern." "I want you to be his mentor." "And by mentor, I mean don't let the little spy learn anything about us." "If he finds out what we do, he'll tell his dad we're doing it wrong." "Here's a list of compliments you can give him." "Tell him his assignment is to go someplace and study cool motorcycles." "If he asks more than three questions, kill him." Intern: "Where's my desk?" Dilbert: "That's one."