God Of Velcro Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for god of velcro comic strips. Discover the best "God Of Velcro" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #salary budget, #shouldn't have hired, #furniture budget, #credenza, #lamp, #operates as credenza

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Allen (aka the sacrificial lamb) stands in the boss' office. The boss says, "Allen, I have to cut the salary budget. I probaly shouldn't have hired you yesterday." The boss says, "Luckily, I have extra money in the furniture budget." Allan rest on all fours with a lamp on his back. allan thinks, "As God is my witness, someday I will be a credenza."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart consults, #data minig, #another message, #stealing lunches, #refigerator, #break room, #pudding

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Dogbert consults: The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is typing on a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "My data-mining software has found another message from God." Dogbert says to the boss: "It says you've been stealing lunches from the refrigerator in the break room." The boss looks surprised and scared. Dogbert says to the boss: "Then it says, "Ha ha, that wasn't pudding!"" The boss covers his mouth with both hands.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tiny dried peanut, #what would dogbert do, #what would dogbert do?, #god like, #worship, #dog worship, #friends, #ask yourself

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Walking down the street, Ratbert thinks to himself "At all times I ask myself, what would Dogbert do?" Ratbert also thinks, "Then it doesn't matter that my brain is the size of a tiny dried peanut." Ratbert pauses on the sidewalk with arms crossed and goes on to think, "That thought would make Dogbert hungry."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clone of boss, #procedure failure, #knick knack, #small creature, #part horse, #part human, #tiney, #antennas

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A tiny centaur is standing on a table. He says to Dilbert, "I'm a clone of your boss?" Dilbert responds, "The procedure didn't exactly work. So you're not so much a human being as you are a..." Centaur, "God?" Dilbert responds, "Knickknack."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #international sales call, #dress, #one level above customer, #cherub, #lighting bolt, #vatican, #overdress

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need you to go on an international sales call." Dilbert asks, "How should I dress?" The Boss responds, "Salespeople should dress one level above the customer." Dilbert is dressed like God. He has a lightning bolt in one hand and a cherub staff in the other. He asks Dogbert, "What's better - the cherub or the lightning bolt?" Dogbert responds, "Take both. You can't overdress at the vatican."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales call, #vatican, #sales people, #worried

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Dilbert, dressed as God, is seated on the plane next to a woman. He says, "It's because I'm making a sales call to the Vatican." Dilbert continues, "I'm told that salespeople should dress one level above their customers." The plane is viewed from the outside. A voice asks, "Aren't you worried?" Another voice responds, "About what?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #grabbed by hand, #my sales meeting, #dressed like god, #huge hand, #guy, #thought it would be funny, #hee hee

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The plane is shown being grabbed by a giant hand. A flight crew member announces, "Folks, please stay in your seats. We've been grabbed by a huge hand." The woman next to Dilbert looks terrified. Dilbert says, "I hope this has nothing to do with how I dressed for my sales meeting at the Vatican." Ratbert is watching television at home. A voice from the television says, "But it turned out to be a guy with a huge hand who said he 'thought it would be funny.'" Ratbert laughs, "Hee hee! Huge hand."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resources, #project, #credibility, #contradiction, #ruining credibility

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Dilbert: "And that's why we can't put any more resources on your project." The Boss: "Sure we can." Dilbert: "Gaaaa!!! Why do you keep ruining my credibility?!!!" The Boss: "Good cop, bad cop." Dilbert: "If there is a god, please KILL ME NOW!!!" The Boss: "Gum?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I want employees who are passionate!" "GIVE ME THIS JOB OR SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL CUT OFF MY EAR!" "And I'm a people person."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tina the tech writer "I'm starting my own blog!" "Dear god, no!" "Every day I will record my personal thoughts about our business." "I need you to write the first one by noon. I can't wait to see what I'm thinking."