God Of Velcro Comic Strips - Page 5
59 Results for God Of Velcro
View 41 - 50 results for god of velcro comic strips. Discover the best "God Of Velcro" comics from Dilbert.com.
Allen (aka the sacrificial lamb) stands in the boss' office. The boss says, "Allen, I have to cut the salary budget. I probaly shouldn't have hired you yesterday." The boss says, "Luckily, I have extra money in the furniture budget." Allan rest on all fours with a lamp on his back. allan thinks, "As God is my witness, someday I will be a credenza."
Dogbert consults: The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is typing on a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "My data-mining software has found another message from God." Dogbert says to the boss: "It says you've been stealing lunches from the refrigerator in the break room." The boss looks surprised and scared. Dogbert says to the boss: "Then it says, "Ha ha, that wasn't pudding!"" The boss covers his mouth with both hands.
Walking down the street, Ratbert thinks to himself "At all times I ask myself, what would Dogbert do?" Ratbert also thinks, "Then it doesn't matter that my brain is the size of a tiny dried peanut." Ratbert pauses on the sidewalk with arms crossed and goes on to think, "That thought would make Dogbert hungry."
A tiny centaur is standing on a table. He says to Dilbert, "I'm a clone of your boss?" Dilbert responds, "The procedure didn't exactly work. So you're not so much a human being as you are a..." Centaur, "God?" Dilbert responds, "Knickknack."
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need you to go on an international sales call." Dilbert asks, "How should I dress?" The Boss responds, "Salespeople should dress one level above the customer." Dilbert is dressed like God. He has a lightning bolt in one hand and a cherub staff in the other. He asks Dogbert, "What's better - the cherub or the lightning bolt?" Dogbert responds, "Take both. You can't overdress at the vatican."
Dilbert, dressed as God, is seated on the plane next to a woman. He says, "It's because I'm making a sales call to the Vatican." Dilbert continues, "I'm told that salespeople should dress one level above their customers." The plane is viewed from the outside. A voice asks, "Aren't you worried?" Another voice responds, "About what?"
The plane is shown being grabbed by a giant hand. A flight crew member announces, "Folks, please stay in your seats. We've been grabbed by a huge hand." The woman next to Dilbert looks terrified. Dilbert says, "I hope this has nothing to do with how I dressed for my sales meeting at the Vatican." Ratbert is watching television at home. A voice from the television says, "But it turned out to be a guy with a huge hand who said he 'thought it would be funny.'" Ratbert laughs, "Hee hee! Huge hand."
Dilbert: "And that's why we can't put any more resources on your project." The Boss: "Sure we can." Dilbert: "Gaaaa!!! Why do you keep ruining my credibility?!!!" The Boss: "Good cop, bad cop." Dilbert: "If there is a god, please KILL ME NOW!!!" The Boss: "Gum?"
Tina the tech writer "I'm starting my own blog!" "Dear god, no!" "Every day I will record my personal thoughts about our business." "I need you to write the first one by noon. I can't wait to see what I'm thinking."