Good Engineering Comic Strips - Page 5
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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert's head is bandaged and his arm is in a sling. Dilbert says, "I've had nothing but tragedy since making a fortune in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "Sometimes, Dogbert, it seems like our lives have preset balances of joy and pain; when one gets too high the other kicks in to compensate." Dilbert continues, "But through it all, I always have you, my friend." Dogbert replies, "At least until my good luck kicks in."
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters holding a newspaper and says, "There are two good articles in the paper today; one about magnets, and one on sign language." The Boss continues, "I'd like you to write a white paper on how these items could influence the project you're working on." Dilbert asks, "Do you even know what project I'm working on?" The Boss replies, "I don't have time to get into minutia."
Dilbert opens the door and sees a man in a military uniform. The general says, "I'm a General from the Department of Government Cover-ups." The man continues, "If you tell your U.F.O. abduction story to the press we'll slay you with untraceable poison." Dilbert says, "I don't think I'm getting a good value for my tax dollar here." The General asks, "Breath mint?"
A man says to Dilbert, ". . . So, either an IBM 586 with 10 meg RAM or maybe a Sparc CPU on a LAN . . ." The man continues, ". . . But with AI and AVR combined with BISDN, well, it's very G." Dilbert asks, "G?" The man replies, "Good."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters holding a camera and asks, "Would you like to pose for my new calendar, 'The Men of Engineering?'" Dogbert explains, "I hope to dispel the myth that engineers are out of shape and unaware of what others are thinking." Dilbert feels his bicep muscle and says, "I'm still kind of 'pumped' from using the mouse." Dogbert says, "Take off your shirt."
Dilbert says to a classroom of young students, "Engineering is one of the best careers available." Dilbert continues, "For the next twenty years I'll sit in a big box called a cubicle. It's like a restroom stall but with lower walls." Dilbert continues, "I spend most of my time hoping the electromagnetic fields from my office equipment aren't killing me." The children look horrified.
Wally says to Dilbert and Ted, "My productivity is shot. I can't stop daydreaming about Irene in accounting." Ted says, "Do what I did. Try to phase out of it by daydreaming of Laura in engineering, then move to the ordinary-looking Betty in marketing." Wally replies, "Now I'm daydreaming about all three of them." Ted replies, "Same thing happened to me."
Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey sit across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've got to cut staff in engineering. I'm trying to determine which one of you is more valuable to keep." The Boss says, "I've been hearing good things about Zimbu the Monkey. Which one of you is Zimbu the Monkey?" Dilbert and Zimbu both raise their hands. Dilbert thinks, "This is not the proudest moment of my professional career."
The Boss: After comparing the two of you, I've decided to keep Dilbert for the last engineering job. Dilbert: Yes! I win, you little banana-eating-flea-hotel! Ha ha ha ha ha!!
Dilbert: Stan, you promised the customer things that engineering can't possibly deliver do you know what this means?! Stan: It means I'm great salesman and you're a putrid engineer. Maybe you should consider taking classes at night. Dilbert: Karate classes.