Headcount Down Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

568 Results for Headcount Down

View 41 - 50 results for headcount down comic strips. Discover the best "Headcount Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #person, #project, #headcount, #contract employee, #buy a computer, #over budget, #renting expensive, #Wally, #16 hour days, #boss thinks genius, #project cancelled

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches the Boss and says, "We desperately need another person on my project!" The Boss replies, "We're already over headcount. Get a contract employee." Dilbert says, "Okay, but they cost twice as much." Dilbert says, "Plus we need to buy a computer." The Boss says, "Rent one. We're over our capital budget." Dilbert replies, "Renting is expensive. We'll go over our expense budget." The Boss says, "I'll fire Wally. That will free up some cash." Dilbert throws his arms up in frustration and says, "Wally's on my project!" Dilbert shouts, "Forget it! I'll just work sixteen hours a day!!" The Boss thinks, "That worked out perfectly. I think I might be a genius or something." The Boss sits at his desk and thinks, "I wonder if I should have told him the project was cancelled last week."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profits down, #male sinking, #bold leadership, #inspirational posters, #variety, #relevant nature scenes, #relate to scene, #seagull, #clam

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss shouts at Wally and Dilbert, "Profits are down, morale is sinking; it's time for bold leadership!!" The Boss holds up some posters and continues, "So I got some inspirational posters featuring a variety of relevant nature scenes." The Boss shows the poster to Wally and Dilbert and says, "I think you can relate to this scene." Wally asks, "Am I the seagull or the clam?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lost forturne, #trophy wife, #valuable lesson, #wrote down

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, without his ponytail, eats lunch with Alice and Dilbert. Wally says, "I lost my fortune and my trophy wife today. But I learned a valuable lesson." Wally eats his bannana. Wally says, "I hope I wrote it down somewhere."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor dogbert, #marketimg, #elbow, #vote, #pulls pants down, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption "Doctor Dogbert" Dogbert wears a crown and stethoscope. A fully clothed man sits on the examination table. He says, "I hurt my elbow, doctor." Dogbert says, "Let me see it." The man pulls down his pants. Dogbert says, "I recommend a career in marketing. And it's not a good idea to vote."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget calculated, #double check numbers, #mentally adjust, #huge mistake, #upside down nine

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss stands behind Asok who is at his computer. The boss says, "Do you have the udget calculated yet, Asok?" Asok says, "I need to double-check the numbers." The boss says, "Give me a copy now. I'll mentally adjust for the possibilty the numbers are wrong." Asok says, "Am I making a huge mistake?" The boss says, "This six is probaly an upside-down nine."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #almost back, #date, #attach tracking device, #run down alley, #leaves, #different opinions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks along the sidewalk with a date. She says, "Well, we're almost back to my place." She says, "Thanks for the date. I can make it from here." Dilbert reaches out and thinks, "I'd better attach the tracking device." She thinks, "I'll run down that alley and hide until he leaves."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cube farm, #excellent yield, #put down, #reproduce

View Transcript

Transcript

The cube farmer walks through the cubicle and thinks, "My cube farm has an excellent yield this year." The farmer looks at Wally and says, "I reckon I'll have to put this one down so he won't reproduce." The farmer says, "Sorry." Wally says, "No problem; I hear that a lot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no money down, #plan to conquer, #designed, #sitting, #soft fur

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in front of the television with the remote. The television says, "'In tape one, I'll teach you how to conquer a small island for no money down.'" Dogbert drops the remote in surprise as the television continues, "First, you must travel to the place you plan to conquer." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I'm designed for sitting. That's why my butt is covered with soft fur." Dilbert sits beside him on the couch and says, "I think that's happening to me too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hallway, #boss, #Dilbert, #tissue, #write down, #rips, #ink blot, #mishandled, #ignored

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need some management fire power." Dilbert begins explaining to the Boss, "The VP of marketing says we can't use the vendor we selected." The Boss fumbles in his pocket and says, "Let me write this down." Dilbert asks, "Do you want some paper?" The Boss replies, "No, I'll just use this tissue...oops." Dilbert continues, "Anyway, the other vendor can't deliver." The Boss continues to make a bess of the tissue. He says, "Oops." Dilbert stops and says, "I have some note paper." The Boss continues, making a mess, saying, "No, this is fine. Oops." Dilbert says, "All you have is a blotch on a scrap." The Boss replies, "It's more of a reminder than a detailed note." The Boss sits at his desk with several little scraps of paper spread out before him. He thinks, "Hmmm...It's not so useful when I put it with the others."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #volume calls, #dead, #beaten down, #inhumane, #punish, #being cheerful

View Transcript

Transcript

Designing a Call Center Dilbert: If the employees get the svolume of calls per day they will wish they were dead. Dilbert But they won't be dead, just too beaten down to look for better jobs. Dilbert: I dont know how to make it any more inhumane. The Boss: we can punish them for not being cheerful.