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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demo, #good sale, #sales training, #see coming, #selling, #sucker, #victim, #wedgie, #gullible

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Headline: Sales Training. The speaker points to a picture of an overly smiley man. He says, "Don't act like you're selling something." The speaker points to a picture of a man getting a wedgie. He says, "A good sale is like a good wedgie. Your victim shouldn't see it coming." The speaker continues, "For this next demonstration I need a volunteer who can't see what's coming." The man next to Dilbert raises his hand.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2002's comic on:


Tags #sales training, #sell to customer, #dare to be great, #prove worthiness, #beg

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Headline: Sales Training. The speaker says, "Never sell to your customer. Make your customer sell to you." The speaker continues, "Our products are only for those who dare to be great! Make the customer explain why he is worthy." Dilbert is meeting with a customer. Dilbert says, "You heard me, Goober. Now beg for our product."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #change your mind, #sales + talk= stalk, #sales guy, #new position, #not good, #Dilbert

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Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert is meeting with a customer. He says, "I'll talk to you every day to see if you change your mind." The customer replies, "Don't talk to me every day." Dilbert says, "You might change your mind." Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Did you know that if you cross 'sales' with 'talk' you get 'stalk?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dilebrt the sales guy, #mother, #overpirced, #hard to use, #spit, #packaging, #mom, #surprised, #mother and son, #Family

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Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert's mom is holding his product. She says, "I wouldn't buy this @#!%!!& with YOUR money." Dilbert's mom continues, "It's overpriced, hard to use, full of bugs and it solves no problem." Dilbert's mom continues, "I spit on your packaging!" Dilbert responds, "Um.. Mom.."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dilbert sales guy, #Card, #no correct info, #new ones, #costs money, #clout, #company, #buy something, #business

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Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert hands a customer his card and says, "Here's my card. None of this information is correct." The customer asks, "Why don't you get new ones?" Dilbert responds, "That costs money." The customer adds, "You must have a lot of clout in your company." Dilbert responds, "Shut up and buy something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2002's comic on:


Tags #man hating supervisor, #justify pay, #all day meeting, #wrong one, #meeting, #this meeting, #door open, #business

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Headline: Man-hating Supervisor. The supervisor asks Wally, "Have any of you men done anything to justify your pay?" Wally responds, "I attended an all-day meeting but later found out I was in the wrong one." The supervisor says, "Actually, you're not supposed to be in this meeting either." Wally replies, "The door was open."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #man hating supervisor, #fired, #being a man, #happy to be man, #dances, #asok happy

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Headline: Man-Hating Supervisor. Asok is sitting at his desk. The supervisor approaches and says, "You're being fired for being a man." Asok replies, "No one has ever called me a man before! This is the happiest day of my life!" Asok dances around and shouts, "I'm a MAN!" The supervisor exclaims, "Stop enjoying life!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #man hating supervisor, #men are oblvious, #i quit, #vials, #storage room, #self respect, #no fun

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Headline: Man-Hating Supervisor. The supervisor says to The Boss, "The men here are oblivious to my abuse. What did you do to them?" The Boss replies, "I siphoned off their self-respect and keep it in vials in a storage room." The supervisor says, "This is no fun. I quit." The Boss responds, "Do you want to yell at the vials with me?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2002's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #software is worn, #typing too hard, #decaf, #paint walls, #stop gym, #holistic tec support, #read more

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Headline: Dogbert Tech Support. Dogbert is talking into a telephone headset. He says, "Your software is worn out. You must be typing too hard." Dogbert continues, "Switch to decaf, paint your walls pink and stop going to the gym." Dilbert approaches Dogbert and says, "I've never heard of holistic tech support." Dogbert replies, "Maybe you should read more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #evil hr dircetor, #marketing department, #bad news, #good news, #non dairy creamer, #five cups a day

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Headline: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "The bad news is that I had to get rid of our marketing department." Catbert continues, "The good news is that we have tons of nondairy creamer!" Dilbert and Wally are drinking coffee. Dilbert asks, "Do you think those two things are related?" Wally replies, "If they are, I'm cutting back to five cups a day."