Hearing Distance Comic Strips - Page 5

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67 Results for Hearing Distance

View 41 - 50 results for hearing distance comic strips. Discover the best "Hearing Distance" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dogcart attorney, #too late, #change, #punish client, #expect awkward silences, #next break

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Headline: Dogbert the Attorney. Dogbert raises his hand and says, "Your honor, is it too late to change sides?" Dogbert continues, "After hearing the evidence, I want to punish my client." After a pause, Dogbert asks, "No?" The Boss glares at Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "I expect some awkward silences during the next break."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #conference room, #burn the ruler, #phone, #speaker phone, #bathroom, #cell phones

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The boss: whats that I'm hearing? Is some one on the conference call using the restroom. Had t - oops - me too - I am - Sorry - The Boss: Now tap the speaker phone button to "off"and burn the ruler.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogcart wrecking company, #special, #srushing, #new car, #parking lot, #cost, #monthly plan, #free model of car, #crush little one, #crush boss car

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Dogbert stands on Wally's desk, wearing a hardhat. Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Wrecking Company." Dogbert continues, "I'm running a special on crushing your boss' new car in the parking lot." Wally asks, "What does it cost?" Dogbert: "The first one is free." Dogbert adds, "If you're satisfied, I hope you'll consider my monthly plan." Wally is standing at the window with Dogbert, pointing outside. "It's the red one. He brags about it every day." The Boss is standing in front of Wally and Dilbert, holding up a model car. The Boss explains, "And when you spend that much, the dealer gives you a free model of your car!" There is a car horn heard off in the distance. Wally is slipping Dogbert a stack of bills. He adds, "And next month can you crush the little one on his desk too?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dumb boss, #tape measure, #postage on email, #my boss is so dumb

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Ted, Dilbert and Carol sit at a conference table. Ted says, "My boss is so dumb, He brought a tape measure to a distance learning class." Everyone laughs, "HA HA HA HA!" Carol says, "My boss is so dumb..." Carol says, "He puts postage stamps on his e-mail. Now he can't see his pc screen." Everyone laughs, "HA HA HA HA!" Ted says to Dilbert, "How about you, Dilbert? Do you have any dumb boss jokes?" The Boss enters the conference room. The Boss says, "Dilbert, my pc is warm. I think our fire wall is acting up." Ted pats Dilbert on the back and says, "We're sorry." Carol says, "We didn't know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2006's comic on:


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I enrolled in a distance learning class to get my master's degree. "Uh-oh." "GAAA! GAAA! GAAA!" "Is the online degree hard?" "Not so much. I'm taking my midterm exam as we speak."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2006's comic on:


Tags #animals in human situations, #career, #criticism, #jobs, #pet ownership, #counselor, #pity

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Career Counselor Woman: And why did you leave your last job? Dilbert: My dog was tired of hearing me whine about my job, so he became a billionaire and bought my company and fired me. Woman: I don't have a checkbox for that so I'll just write in "loser".

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2007's comic on:


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Catbert: Evil director of human resources "I hired two people to work on your project." "One is a mumbler and the other one is hard of hearing but doesn't know it." "Mmmm, afterglow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #invention, #gadget, #sink attaches to body, #faucet on head, #running water, #work, #annoyed, #hearing, #yell

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Wally says, "I invented a sink that attaches to my body. The faucet is activated by your voice." The Boss says, "Wally, what possible use could this stupid thing have? I need you to do some real work." Wally says, "What? I can't hear you when the water is running!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2010's comic on:


Tags #work-life balance, #lazy, #annoyed, #clench teeth, #angry

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Wally says, "I need to get some of that work-life balance I keep hearing about." Wally says, "I thought about work all last night at home, so what do I do now?" Wally says, "It's not too late to get in on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #economy, #ridiculous, #fear

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Tree says, "The economy scared me so badly that I turned into a tree." Dilbert says, "What?" Tree says, "It's the same as a blind person developing better hearing." Tree says, "When you're stealing cat food from convenience stores, I'll be living large on rainwater."