Highest Paid Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

159 Results for Highest Paid

View 41 - 50 results for highest paid comic strips. Discover the best "Highest Paid" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2001's comic on:


Tags #highest priority, #totally worthless, #empowered, #make decison, #double edged sword

View Transcript

Transcript

Looking at a piece of paper, Dilbert asks The Boss, "Which assignment is the highest priority?" Dilbert asks The Boss, "Is it the totally worthless one or the other totally worthless one?" Dilbert says, "I hope I'm empowered to make that decision." The Boss says, "Hope is a double-edged sword."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #taking bribes, #from vendors, #feel guilty, #getting paid, #walk with cup, #looks harder

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol sits behind her desk. Wally approaches with a cup of coffee and says, "Do you feel guilty about taking bribes from vendors?" Carol replies, "No. Do you feel guilty getting paid to walk around with a coffee cup?" Wally walks away thinking, "I need a bigger cup so this looks harder."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2002's comic on:


Tags #boss booked, #highest ratio, #unavailabilty, #usefulness, #sound insulting, #do math, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice asks The Boss, "How about any Tuesday this year?" The Boss replies, "No, I'm booked." Alice says, "You have the highest ratio of unavailability to usefulness I've ever seen." The Boss asks Catbert, "Does that sound like an insult?" Catbert replies, "If I could do math I wouldn't be working in human resources."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #training budget slashed, #cancel class, #already paid, #appear smart, #while secretly stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "The training budget got slashed. You have to cancel your class." Dilbert responds, "We already paid for the class." The Boss replies, "We'll look bad if you go." Dilbert says, "So, our plan is to appear smart while secretly being stupid?" The Boss replies, "You can make anything sound bad."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #power to become invisible, #sit home, #get paid, #Wally, #boss, #hiding

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Asok are eating lunch. Wally says, "Long term, I hope to convince our boss that I have the power to become invisible." Wally continues, "Then I can just sit home and get paid. Oh, it will be sweet." The Boss is sitting at his desk, he looks scared. He asks, "Wally? Is that you?" Wally is hiding behind The Boss' chair. Wally replies, "Right in front of you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #highest profit margin, #entire industry, #not supposed to say, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says in a meeting, "We have the highest profilt margin in our entire industy!" Alice leans over and whispers something to The Boss. The Boss says, "Apparently I'm not supposed to say that in front of customers."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #budget request, #priority, #highest priority, #mockery, #low priority

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: What is the priority of your budget request? Alice: Highest of the high. Asok: everyone rated their own budget needs "Highest Priority" It is a mockery f the priority system! Asok: Name one thing that everyone would agree is a low priority. Alice: whatever you're doing.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #sycophant school, #agree with superiors, #make statements, #fake smiles, #paid 400x more, #look at faces, #rude, #teaching, #aggressive, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

SYCOPHANT SCHOOL "You must learn to agree with your superiors no matter what they say." "For practice, I'll make statements and you agree. Remember to use your fake smiles." "Statement one: I should be paid 400 times more than you because I have to look at your faces."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bad attitude, #new engineer, #paid more, #justify, #smile

View Transcript

Transcript

"Why does the new engineer get paid more than I do? How do you justify that?" "Unlike you, he doesn't have a bad attitude." "I have a good attitude. Look at this smile. Look!" "My eyes!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #low pay, #lowest paid, #blame, #no one left, #aliens, #illegal

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "I just saw a list of everyone's salary." "I thought the glass ceiling was holding me down, but you have the highest pay here." "There's no one left to blame for my low pay except... Ooh, wait... How about illegal aliens?"