Hiring Pirate Comic Strips - Page 5

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81 Results for Hiring Pirate

View 41 - 50 results for hiring pirate comic strips. Discover the best "Hiring Pirate" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosuar, #law suit, #no interuptions, #prior employee, #slapped, #slapped with a suit, #take off, #business suit

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Bob: Im Bob the esquire dinosaur. your exemployee, wally, hired me to step you with a suit for hiring him. Take off your suit is I can slap you with it. Carol: Not now, He's being slapped with a suit and I don't want top ruin the rhythm.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eat lunch, #front, #rich, #book deal, #pirate, #illegal, #buy

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Asok says, "Soon my book of pointy-haired boss quotes will be published and I will be rich." Wally says, "It sounds great. I can't wait to get my pirated copy." Asok says, "Or you could buy it." Dilbert says, "I thought you said it was a book."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting pirates, #taking over agendas, #scurvy rats, #server, #virtualization

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Dilbert says, "We've had reports of 'meeting pirates,' taking over agendas and pillaging credit." Pirate says, "Yaaarg!!! I take yer document, and leave ye scurvy rats adrift!" Pirate says, "And then I invented server virtualization. Yaaarg!" The Boss says, "Wow! That was a good idea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #internet, #investing, #screaming, #panic, #unemployed, #technology

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Dilbert says, "I'm not stressed about being out of work because I have my investments. Let's see how they?" GAAAA!!! Dogbert says, "Maybe some warlords are hiring."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #sweat, #nervous, #rudeness

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Job interview Woman says, "I detect the flop sweat of desperation." Woman says, "I base my hiring decisions on who would make a good mate, and I would never want to give life to your sweaty baby." Woman says, "Do you see what I'm saying?" crumple Dilbert says, "Can I try again when I'm dehydrated?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #hiring, #policy, #cruelty

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the boss says, "You're hired, but company policy requires me to post the job opening internally before it's official." Man says, "Are you saying your company policy requires you to lie to employees and give them false hope?" The boss says, "Exactly." Man says,. "That's cruel." The boss says, "In six months you'll wish you had some false hope too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #plans, #greed, #pirates

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm thinking of becoming a Somalian pirate." Dogbert says, "I'd still get to steal from stockholders, but my booty wouldn't be taxed." Dogbert says, "And who doesn't like grenade launchers? Ka-pow!" Dilbert says, "Mom? Cancel your cruise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #shallow, #ridiculous, #looking, #cell phone, #failure, #leaving, #rejection, #technology

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Woman says, "I judge potential mates by their cell phone apps. Hand it over." Woman says, "You have an app that does nothing but hurl pirate insults. That is so stupid. This date is over." Cell Phone says, "Don't let the door hit you in the booty. Aaaargh!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #ridicule, #joking, #angry, #hiring, #downsizing, #economy

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The Boss says, "Gabe was downsized when his last employer had financial troubles. I was lucky to hire him." Dilbert says, "Because they always downsize their best employees first?" Dilbert says, "Sorry. I didn't mean to put it in context."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #business, #venture, #idea, #objecting, #ridicule, #criticism, #scheme

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're going into the internet news business." Dilbert says, "We're hiring reporters?" Dogbert says, "No, we'll summarize stories from other sites and provide links." Dilbert says, "So?we'll be parasites?" Dogbert says, "Go buy a vinyl record, Grandpa."