Hoping For Cancellation Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

93 Results for Hoping For Cancellation

View 41 - 50 results for hoping for cancellation comic strips. Discover the best "Hoping For Cancellation" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Stop right there. I'm detecting a glimmer of hope. "I was hoping I would be appreciated for my hard work." "False hope is okay. Carry on."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #executives, #public opinion, #feel engaged, #meeting, #appearences, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Before I make my decision, I'd like to ask for your opinions. It's supposed to make you feel "engaged." Dilbert: And you actually plan to listen to us? CEO: I'm hoping it will look that way on the outside.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #delusional sociopath, #executives, #gardener, #goat writing autobiograohy, #hallucinations, #hard work, #intuition, #magical thinking, #non-fiction, #vision, #regrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I finished ghostwriting your autobiography. CEO: "I was ridiculously lucky. The End." I was hoping you'd include something about all of my hard work. Dogbert: You didn't work any harder than your gardener, and he lives in his truck. CEO: What about my vision and intuition? Dogbert: My first draft had a chapter on your hallucinations and magical thinking. But I covered that ground with the title: "I'm A Delusional Sociopath And You Can Too." CEO: I'm starting to regret paying you in advance.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #team members, #work, #motivation, #make waves

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get one of my team members to do any work. I'm hoping you can talk to his boss. Boss: I don't want to make waves. Dilbert: It's your job to make waves! They pay you to make waves, you worthless pile of stupidity! Oops. Wally: I heard you made waves. How'd that work out? Dilbert: Surprisingly bad.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #make copies, #mental task, #bloated cadaver, #staple or no, #asks secretary

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Our boss asked me to make some copies. But I fear doing such a menial task will brand me as unimportant." Asok: I was hoping you could make the copies for me since your career is already a bloated cadaver If I am reading your body language correctly, you are wondering 'staple or no staple?'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #load calcs, #remind, #monday, #determined, #forget, #remember, #fist, #hiding day, #good luck, #hallway, #standing

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Wally, I need your load calcs by Tuesday." Wally says, "Remind me on Monday." Coworker says, "You're hoping I won't remember to remind you. Then you'll say it's my fault." Coworker says, "But I will remember, and I will remind you." Wally says, "Good luck. Monday is my hiding day."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #evil, #cat, #director of human resources, #sales bonus, #raise target, #boss, #laugh, #point, #bend over, #tail, #annoyed, #support, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Ken says, "Every time I get near my sales bonus level, the pointy-haired boss raises the target!" Catbert says, "Ha ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He just yanks it away! Ha ha ha!" Ken says, "I was hoping for some support." Catbert says, "Then buy a cane and talk to the tail! Ooogah!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2010's comic on:


Tags #employee, #human resources, #Promotion, #raise, #facebook; social networks, #excited, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "For the past six months you've done nothing but update your Facebook page." Catbert says, "Now we have an opening for a marketing manager for social networks and you're totally qualified. It's a huge raise and promotion." Man says, "Crime pays! I knew it!!!" Catbert says, "We're hoping you can lie as well as you steal."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #complaining, #bureaucracy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "It takes an average of five people to approve any action in this company, and at any given time, three are on vacation." Wally says, "Should I violate our company culture of consensus building, or just sit around and do nothing for lack of buy-in?" The boss says, "Did you mention flailing around in futility?" Wally says, "I was hoping you forgot that option."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #job, #work, #scheme, #guessing, #cruel, #mean, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Ted, your new responsibility is to keep the pigeons from defiling our ledges." Ted says, "Are you hoping this awful assignment will cause me to quit?" The boss says, "Not at all." Ted says, "Are you hoping I'll fall out a window?" The boss says, "Maybe you should stop guessing now,"