How To Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for How To

View 41 - 50 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.

How Work Is Going

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Work Is Going - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, existence, happiness, fulfillment, frustration, job, business, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.

How Conversations Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Conversations Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antisocial, conversation, distraction, phone, social, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The weather will be good this weekend. Alice: Stop right there. Your proposed topic of conversation is far below the level of entertainment I can get from my phone. Dilbert: I don't know how conversations work. Dogbert: You're interrupting my phone time.

Telling People How To Do Their Jobs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Telling People How To Do Their Jobs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, quality assurance, misunderstanding, micromanage, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alan, From Quality Assurance. Boss: Is it true that the only thing you have been doing is assuring people we have quality? Alan: I don't like to tel people how to do their jobs. Boss: Telling people how to do their jobs is literally your job. Alan: In that case, stop doing all of this.

How Long For New Feature

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Long For New Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, excuse, legacy, deception, engineer, programmer, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: How long would it take to add that feature to the legacy system? Wally: That depends. When will the new system replace the legacy system? Tina: In six months. Wally: The new feature would take seven months.

Dogbert's Insult Consulting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Insult Consulting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company rules, insulting, co workers, teach how, insult, within guidelines, standing desk, meeting, employer, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults DOgbert: Company rules forbid you from insulting your co-workers. I'll teach you how to insult each other while staying within company guidelines. The boss: That doesn't seem possible. Dogbert: you should look into getting a standing desk.

How To Use Personality Profiles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How To Use Personality Profiles  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality test, personaity, privacy, memory, forgetfulness, absent mindedness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We all took the Dogbert Personality Test, bu tit's not clear how we're supposed to use the information. I mean, how does it help me to know you're a forgetful moron who can't keep a secret? Boss: Who showed you my private test results? Dilbert: You did.

How Conspiracy Theories Start

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Conspiracy Theories Start  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conspiracy, aspersions, guilt, innocence, blame

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: How conspiracy theories start. Alice: I can't find my spreadsheet files. Asok: I saw Dilbert going into the server room. Alice: That doesn't mean any... Asok: Carol said he was mad about something you said. Narrator: Continued...

How Dare You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Dare You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags offended, offense, accusation, strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My new defense against every accusation is to be offended by the question. Dilbert: That works? Wally: Depends how hard I sell it. Woman: Why haven't you returned any of my emails? Wally: How dare you!

How About Lunch

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How About Lunch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, flirting, rejection, relationships, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Would you like to have a drink after work? Woman: I don't drink. Dilbert: How about lunch? Woman: I also don't eat. Do you see a pattern yet? Dilbert: You're an android?

How Dilbert Can Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Dilbert Can Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, project, criticism, option, boss, worthless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How can I help you on your project? Woman Employee: I'll send you my files and you can do all of my work while I criticize you behind your back. Dilbert: Is there another option? Woman Employee: Yes, it' involves telling your boss you're worthless.