Huge Liars Comic Strips - Page 5

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215 Results for Huge Liars

View 41 - 50 results for huge liars comic strips. Discover the best "Huge Liars" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #cure for carpel tunnel, #eat six bananas, #hands of teenager, #data, #medical advice, #huge pimple

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Asok is sitting at his desk, noticeably still in pain. The Boss says, "The cure for carpal tunnel is to eat six bananas a day." The Boss shakes his hand and continues, "That's what I do and I have the hands of a teenager." Asok turns around and replies, "Do you have any data to support your medical advice?" The Boss responds, "Does a huge pimple count?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2001's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #mud delivery business, #stockholders, #huge profits, #illeagal, #no law, #against optimism

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, you're going to Elbonia to shut down our Elbonian mud delivery business." The Boss continues, "Meanwhile, I'll tell our stockholders that we expect the mud delivery business to make huge profits." Dilbert says, "Um... is this illegal?" The Boss replies, "There's no law against optimism! I checked."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #manuafacture mud, #water, #bags, #fertile soil, #huge demand, #bottled water, #bags of soil, #bottled air to morons, #elbonians

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Headline: In Elbonia. An Elbonian says to Dilbert, "We manufacture our mud using bottled water and bags of fertile soil." The other Elbonian holds up a bag of soil. Dilbert replies, "There's a huge demand in my country for bottled water and bags of soil." The Elbonian responds, "Is anyone selling bottled air to you morons yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #outsourcing, #project, #huge hourly rate, #specified

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "I've reduced our development costs by outsourcing the project." Dilbert responds, "Does the proposal have a huge hourly rate for any work not specified in the contract?" The Boss replies, "Why do you ask?" Wally thinks, "Stay out of it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dont judge, #elbonia, #electricity, #huge barges, #ideas, #toasters, #trained porpoises, #brainstorm

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Dilbert points to a diagram and asks, "How do we get the electricity from our nuclear plant in Elbonia to the toasters over here?" Dilbert continues, "Let's brainstorm and remember not to judge any ideas at this stage." The Boss says, "I'm thinking about huge barges and trained porpoises - lots of them." Asok thinks, "Must.. Not...Judge."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2002's comic on:


Tags #manager, #individual contributor, #job description, #wear huge glasses

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Dilbert is talking to a woman. She asks, "Are you a manager?" Dilbert responds, "No, I'm an individual contributor." The woman says, "So, basically, you have the same job description as an ant?" Dilbert responds, "I'd like to see an ant try to wear huge glasses like these!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #rat hole, #business plan, #pay huge investment fees, #money losing, #take your money, #push in hole

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Dogbert is sitting outside behind a desk labeled, "Rat Hole." A businessman approaches holding a bag of money and asks, "May I throw money down the rat hole?" Dogbert replies, "Show me your business plan." Dogbert flips through the business plan and says, "You plan to pay huge investment banking fees to buy a low-margin, money-losing business..." Dogbert says, "For an extra fee, I'll push you in the hold and take your money." The businessman replies, "Oooh, sounds good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #huge scam, #upcoming merger, #accretive earnings, #stcockholders

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Asok says to The Boss and Alice, "I worry that our upcoming merger is nothing but a huge scam on our stockholders." The Boss opens his mouth very wide and yells, "Buwaha-hahaha!!" The Boss says, "I mean.. It's accretive to earnings."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #cash, #conflicts if interest, #corporate skin, #huge failures, #no red flags, #potential client, #track record

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A man with hair pointy like antennae approaches The Boss and says, "Hello, potential client. I'm a consultick." The consultick continues, "I'll burrow into your corporate skin, suck your cash and never leave." The consultick continues, "My firm has a track record of huge consulting failures and conflicts of interest!" The Boss thinks, "No red flags."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #downsized, #good news, #half huge raises, #same people, #ran numbers

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "The good news is that half of you will get huge raises." The Boss continues, "The bad news is that half of you will be downsized tomorrow." Dilbert turns and says, "Is it the same people?" The Boss replies, "Yeah, we ran the numbers."