Ignorant Employees Comic Strips - Page 5
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625 Results for Ignorant Employees
View 41 - 50 results for ignorant employees comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorant Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 18,
1994
Tags #organ donor, #reorganizations, #unwanted employees, #what job
Transcript
Wally: Sometimes I think these constant reorganizations are just excuses for getting rid of unwanted employees. Wally: what job did you end up with? Dilbert: Organ donor Wally: My shoulder is acting up. Do I talk to you or is there a form to fill out? Dilbert: I don't think thats an "Organ"
Saturday May 14,
1994
Tags #huge time saver, #final consulting, #company, #deadweight, #employees.fired, #company directory, #business
Transcript
Ratbert: Here's my final consulting report on your company. Ive listed all the deadweight employees who should be fired. The Boss: This is the company directory. Ratbert: Finding that was a huge time saver.
Monday May 16,
1994
Tags #important project, #marked man, #other employees, #throw bricks, #keep persepctive, #suck ups, #brick to the head
Transcript
Ted: I'm putting you in charge of an important project which is fully funded." Dilbert: Ima marked man, The other employees will either try to suck up to me for money or throw bricks at me. Ted: Buddy. Dilbert: The trick is to keep a protective ring of suck ups around at all times. Zip.
Monday June 20,
1994
Tags #behead, #corporate head hunter, #employee, #new employees, #staffing problem, #you'd be flexible, #go postal, #post office employee
Transcript
"We've never needed a corporate headhunter before, but now it's the only way to solve our staffing problem." "Are you aware that headhunters find new employees? We don't behead the ones you already have." "I don't suppose you'd be flexible..." "I could find a disgruntled ex-post office employee for you."
Tuesday August 02,
1994
Tags #ad agency, #dogberts, #new slogan, #essence, #captures, #we abuse employees, #pass savings, #squalid cubicles, #wear that shirt
Transcript
Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Ive developed a new slogan that captures the essence of those company. "we abuse our employess and pass the savings to you" We'll film actual employees in their squalid cubicles. The boss: Wear that shirt
Wednesday August 03,
1994
Tags #best assets, #competitions worst, #employees on job, #hidden camera, #imply, #they work for competition, #ad agency, #dogbert's ad agency
Transcript
Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst. we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job. The Boss: I missed something here... Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.
Friday August 26,
1994
Tags #dignity enhancement, #help employees, #less money, #hire someone, #co workers
Transcript
The Boss: Sue was hired to run our new dignity enhancement program. Her charter is to help the employees feel good about themselves while they work harder for less money. Dilbert: How can we afford to hire somebody new? The Boss: Do you remember those cow orders you used to have?
Tuesday October 18,
1994
Tags #board room, #fire employees, #no employees, #task force, #competitors, #white rumps
Transcript
EXECUTIVE BOARD ROOM TED: our competitors are kicking our pasty white rumps. Ted: Im bringing in dogcart to fire employees until we're stronger than the competition. Man: How will the work get done with no employees? Ted: Id better form a test force to study that.
Wednesday November 02,
1994
Tags #employee survey, #no startegy, #quality team, #root cause, #employees are ninnies, #more stock options
Transcript
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The employee survey showed that 95% of the company believes we have no consistent strategy." The Boss continues, "So the executives formed a 'quality team' to determine the root cause of the problem." A man points to a chart and says to three people seated at a table, "We've narrowed it down to either 'employees are ninnies' or 'we deserve more stock options.'"
Saturday December 24,
1994
Tags #strange smell, #aroma technology, #scent of lemon, #employees more alert, #lemon
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "There's a strange smell in the cubes." The Boss responds, "We're using aroma technology!" The Boss explains, "For example, research shows that the scent of lemon makes employees more alert." Dilbert sniffs the air and says, "That's not lemon." The Boss says, "My job's easier when you guys aren't too alert."