Ignore You Comic Strips - Page 5

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73 Results for Ignore You

View 41 - 50 results for ignore you comic strips. Discover the best "Ignore You" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I bought you a bumper sticker that says you give money to police charities. "Now you can ignore traffic laws with total impunity." "This is the greatest bumper sticker ever."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assistant, #mood, #frustration, #ignore, #ignoring, #attitude, #psychology

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"Carol, I need some three-ring binders and a reservation for the conference room on Thursday." "I don't like the way you asked, so I'm going to make a phone call until you give up and leave." "Yeah, the big jerk is still standing there."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Yes, do that right away." "Do what?" "Can I ignore e-mail from people who don't include my original message in their reply?" "Yes, and you can hate them, too." "90% of happiness is picking the right ethicist."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert consults "You need a dashboard application to track your key metrics." "That way you'll have more data to ignore when you make your decisions based on company politics." "Will the data be accurate?" "Okay, let's pretend that matters."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #work ethic, #such back, #due dates, #lazy, #incompetent, #busy, #root cause

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Coworker: I need to give you some push-back on these due dates. Dilbert: No problem. Should I tell the others you're lazy, or incompetent, or in over your head? Coworker: How about just "busy?" Dilbert: Okay. I will insist that people ignore the root cause.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #honesty, #slide toward irrelevance, #redesign logo, #produce tablet computer, #ugly truth, #personified

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Man: There's nothing you can do about your company's long slide toward irrelevance. But if you redesign your logo and produce a tablet computer that no one buys, at least it will look like you're trying. CEO: Who are you? Man: I'm the ugly truth. Most people just ignore me.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wages, #compensation, #achieving goals, #debating, #money

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Boss: Your compensation will be based on achieving these goals. Dilbert: Awesome. It's like written permission to ignore everything else you ask me to do. Boss: It's not like that at all. Dilbert: Get back to me when you finish debating yourself.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Opinion, #bad decision, #consistency, #coworker, #confused

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Coworker says, "Would you like my opinion on how you should handle that?" Dilbert says, "Sure, I'll just try to ignore the fact that your entire career has been a colorful tapestry of bad decisions." Coworker says, "So? yes?" Dilbert says, "I admire your consistency."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flying monkey, #supreme leadership, #heir, #father, #son, #crazy, #office, #Family

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CEO says, "Assemble the supreme leadership board. I am ready to name an heir to succeed me." Dilbert says, "We don't have a supreme leadership board, and this isn't a hereditary dictatorship." CEO says, "That's crazy talk." Monkey says, "Ignore him, daddy."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #wings, #halo, #lying, #disappearing, #work, #side effects, #medication, #business

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Dilbert says, "Please ignore my wings and halo. They are side effects from my prescription meds." Dilbert says, "Anyway, my pointy-haired boss asked me to tell you that we will finish the prototype on time and on budget." Woman says, "That is one bad tell you got there." Poof! Poof!