Improve Image Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

104 Results for Improve Image

View 41 - 50 results for improve image comic strips. Discover the best "Improve Image" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #managers & supervisors, #exit imnterview, #pointy haired loser, #improve situation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why do you want to leave your current job? Interviewee: My boss is a pointy-haired loser, but he's smart enough to know when he's being insulted right to his face. I'm looking to improve on that situation. Boss: You came to the right place.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #didn't read, #email, #improve communication, #long rambling email, #someone else, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Did everyone read about how to improve our communication? Dilbert: Was it a long rambling email that stumbled from one barely coherent point to another? The Boss: That one must have been from someone else. Dilbert: Good because I didn't read it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improve reputation, #million dollars, #tramps, #money to needy, #dnation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I want to improve our reputation in the community by donating money to the needy." The Boss says, "Find me a photogenic hobo who could use a million dollars." Dilbert says, "I'm looking for a hobo who could use a million dollars." A man says, "Sorry, we're tramps."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brilliant ideas, #carnage, #honesty, #ignorance, #ludicrous ideas, #mean spirited, #mistaken self image, #roll eyes, #share project, #verbally demolish

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, I'm hoping we can work together on this project in the spirit of cooperation. I'll have some ideas, and you'll have some ideas, and together we can pick the best ones. Alice: Sure, that's one approach. But I prefer to exhale deeply and roll my eyes while you prattle. Then I will verbally demolish your ludicrous ideas, and dismantle your mistaken self-image as a competent man. The carnage will create a striking contrast for the warm, clear glow of my brilliant ideas. Later, I will round out the package by spreading amusing stories about how ignorant you are. Is there any chance of doing it my way? Alice: Now watch the eyes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new vp of marketing, #improve revenues, #ridiculous lie, #gullible moron, #he believed it, #touche

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our new VP of marketing promises to improve our revenues by ten billion percent! Alice: "That is a ridiculous lie that only a gullible moron would believe." Dogbeet: "Oh yeah? How do you explain the fact that HE believed it?" The boss: "Touche"

Dogbert The Pr Specialist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Pr Specialist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public relations, #image, #likeability, #pr, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert the public relations specialist. Dogbert: The public hates you for all the right reasons. I'll repair your public image by photographing you serving meals in a homeless shelter. CEO: Is the public really that dumb? Dogbert: Yup. I'll have you out of there in two scoops and a click.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #medical expenses, #plattypuss

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur remembers the image of a dinosaur crushed under a meteor. Bob says, ". . . But Larry the Dinosaur survived his brush with the meteor." Bob continues, "His medical expenses soared. Today we recognize Larry as the first of a new evolutionary chain of dinosaurs . . ." Bob pictures a flat animal with legs. Bob concludes, "The 'Doctor-Billed Flattypuss.'" Dilbert says, "I'm not buying this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #urget, #memo, #employees, #important, #competitive, #proactive, #quality, #items, #pounding, #tingly, #day, #off

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk reading a memo. Dilbert reads, "Urgent memo to all employees:" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. Looks important." Dilbert continues reading, "If we are to remain competitive, you must proactively improve quality on all actionable items!" Dilbert says, "Wow! That was inspiring. My heart is pounding. I'm all tingly . . . I'd better take the rest of the day off . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #secretary, #temporarily, #paid, #performing, #duties, #author, #jazz, #pianist, #thespian, #psychology, #gourmet chef

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a man's desk and says, "Hi. You must be the new secretary." The man replies, "Well, yes and no . . ." The man explains, "Granted, I'm temporarily being paid for performing secretary-like duties. But I'm really an author, a jazz pianist and a thespian. I have a Ph.D. in Psychology." Dilbert says, "Sounds like a little crisis with the ol' self-image." The man adds, "And a gourmet chef . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #invention, #alive, #holographic, #message, #Dogbert, #chile, #carne

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert yells, "Yikes! Dilbert's invention is alive!!" A flash of light comes from the device. An image of Dilbert's head appears and says, "I am a holographic recording of the late Dilbert, with a message to Dogbert from beyond the grave." Dogbert takes notes on a pad of paper as Dilbert says, ". . . And my recipe for chile con carne is as follows . . ."