Improve Yourself Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

244 Results for Improve Yourself

View 41 - 50 results for improve yourself comic strips. Discover the best "Improve Yourself" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #write rebuttal, #technical recommendation, #reject, #rebuttal, #mock yourself, #got to bed

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "Write a rebuttal to this technical recommendation so I can reject it." Dilbert responds, "I can't write a rebuttal to my own recommendation!" Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "... Then I had to write myself up for insubordination." Dogbert replies, "Mock yourself and go to bed."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #evil hr dircetor, #layoffs, #improve moral, #making tough deciosn, #feel more optimistic, #your fired

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert is sitting behind his desk, an employee is standing before him. Catbert says, "I'm reminding everyone that layoffs can improve morale." Catbert continues, "Layoffs prove that management is capable of making tough decisions to turn things around!" The employee responds, "You're right! I do feel more optimistic now!" Catbert adds, "Secondly, you're fired."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #improve communication, #imitates boss, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I called this meeting so I could tell you the division's goals for next year. Alice: Thats a good idea because we're all so dumb that we coldly possibly read this in email. Goal one: Improve communication. ALiceL I can't. Im too dumb.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #recognize noredom, #stop talking about yourself, #yawn

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogberts school for the social oblivious. Dogbert: Today I"ll teach you to recognize when your boring. Dogbert: This is called a yawn, when you see one , stop talking about yourself. BREAKOUT SESSION Ted: And then I chopped it right onto the green. Dogbert: Look,Look!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2003's comic on:


Tags #chapter 23, #photo copy, #see how yourself, #books, #full of information, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Dilbert with a book in hand. The Boss says, "Let's see.. your defects are discussed in chapter 23." The Boss continues, "I'll give you a photocopy so you can see how to fix it yourself." As The Boss walks away, he thinks, "Books are full of information."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #managers elbow, #patting yourself on back, #prescription, #leptard, #cirque du soliel

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You've got a bad case of manager's elbow. Its caused by patting yourself on the back and covering your butt at the same time. Doctor: I recommend that you doing the cirque du soleil. Im giving you a prescription for a leotard.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2005's comic on:


Tags #try rebooting, #tech support, #clone yourself, #adoption, #notice bugs, #slapped 1.0 together, #parents

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support "Try rebooting yourself." "Clone yourself, put the clone up for adoption, and hope intelligence can be influenced by the environment." "Evidently your parents slapped together Version 1.0 of you and hoped no one would notice the bugs..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #strategic asset, #market share, #fire yourself, #accountabilty

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Human resources is a company's most important strategic asset. "That means it's your fault we're losing market share. Maybe you should fire yourself." "Strategic assets don't like accountability."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #managers & supervisors, #exit imnterview, #pointy haired loser, #improve situation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why do you want to leave your current job? Interviewee: My boss is a pointy-haired loser, but he's smart enough to know when he's being insulted right to his face. I'm looking to improve on that situation. Boss: You came to the right place.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #didn't read, #email, #improve communication, #long rambling email, #someone else, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Did everyone read about how to improve our communication? Dilbert: Was it a long rambling email that stumbled from one barely coherent point to another? The Boss: That one must have been from someone else. Dilbert: Good because I didn't read it.