Inherit Stuff Comic Strips - Page 5

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159 Results for Inherit Stuff

View 41 - 50 results for inherit stuff comic strips. Discover the best "Inherit Stuff" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #firewall down, #viruses, #spyware, #tuberculosis, #zombies, #deposed dictator, #iphone 3gs, #army of mole people

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Dilbert: Our firewall is down. Some bad stuff is getting through. Boss: How bad? Dilbert: So far we've seen viruses, spyware, tuberculosis, zombies, a deposed dictator, and an iPhone 3GS. Update: an army of mole people from another dimension has tunneled through. Boss: Keep me informed.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #tv news, #financial report, #tv show, #cable news show, #Dogbert, #gold fillings, #remove your own

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News anchor: My next guest on money - n- stuff is Dogbert the doomsday pundit, DOgbert: Goldman Sachs is forming a Hobo army to take over the world. Start hoarding anything with a pointy end. DOW 975 DOgbert: Hobo army coming. News Anchor: after the break, learn how to remove your own gold fillings,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #coffe lounge, #more vocal, #accomplishments, #bragging, #perfect substotute, #wind, #seat cushion

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Dilbert: I think I need to be more vocal about my accomplishments. Wally: I've found that bragging is a perfect substitute for accomplishing stuff. Dilbert: I plan to do both. Wally: Wow. You are the wind beneath my seat cushion.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #carbon dioxide, #exhales endangered species, #fabrications, #harbard, #higgs boson particle, #licorice and flashlight, #national football league, #no bragging rights, #no kids, #training for olympics

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Coworker: My daughter is training for the Olympics. My son is going to Harvard. Dilbert: I have no spawn of my own, so I claim the right to name a proxy to brag on my behalf. Topper, I need you. Topper: OF course you do. My daughter discovered the Higgs boson particle using nothing but licorice and a flashlight. My son inhales carbon dioxide and exhales endangered species while playing in the National Football League. Coworker: This isn't fair! You can't just make up stuff! Topper: According to the president of the International Society of Boasters, fabrications are acceptable. Coworker: I'd like to talk to that guy. Topper: You're looking at him. Dilbert: I win.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 1989's comic on:


Tags #homeless persons, #real estate, #less fortunate

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to dedicate my life to the less fortunate." Dilbert replies, "That's very noble of you, Dogbert. Will you be working with the homeless, or perhaps the hungry?" Dogbert replies, "I thought I'd start with people who didn't buy real estate in the 70's . . . Maybe work my way up to that other stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1989's comic on:


Tags #heck, #hell, #milk

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Phil the Ruler of Heck reads a list and says, "Oh good, the last stop of the day." Phil stands in front of Dilbert's mailbox. As Dilbert reaches into the refrigerator Phil pokes him in the back with his spoon. Phil says, "Freeze, mortal! Let me see the expiration date on that milk!" Dilbert says, "I can go to hell for drinking old milk?!" Phil replies, "Nah, I'm from 'Heck.' We handle the little stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1989's comic on:


Tags #irrational, #windshield, #Dilbert, #shake, #hammer, #car

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Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Oh no . . . I always get stuck behind a truck carrying stuff that could fall off and crack my windshield." Dilbert thinks, "I suppose I'm being a little irrational about this." Dilbert's car follows a flatbed truck with a giant hammer balanced on it. Dilbert thinks, "Still, it's hard to shake the feeling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #capitalism, #communism, #Dogbert, #dorgy, #popular methods, #rich

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Dogbert: You see, Dorgy, under our capitalist system anybody can become rich. Dogbert: Inheritance and crime are the most popular methods. Dorgy: Which is preferred method? Dogbert: It's best to have your parents do the crime and let you inherit it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #brainella, #smart, #intimidated, #dated, #woman, #outfit, #best

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Dilbert and a woman with a huge head sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gosh, Brainella, I've never dated a woman as smart as you before . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's just start right in talking about all kinds of smart stuff. C'mon, give me your best shot. I'm not intimidated." Brainella replies, "Not here. If your brain explodes, it'll ruin my outfit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #boss, #job, #sez, #raise, #bench, #outside, #project, #stupid

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Dilbert, Dogbert and a man sit on a park bench. The man says, ". . . So then I sez to my boss, 'You can just stuff this stupid project . . .'" The man continues, "Then I sez, 'Let's see YOU do this job.' And I sez, 'I should get a raise.' I gotta go." Dogbert says, "The more they sez 'I sez,' the less likely it is they really said what they sez they said."