Internet Dating Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

345 Results for Internet Dating

View 41 - 50 results for internet dating comic strips. Discover the best "Internet Dating" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #collective sex drive, #internet, #itelligence, #new technology, #smut, #time in hell, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer and Dogbert looks over his shoulder. Dilbert says, "I'm inventing a new technology to prevent kids from seeing smut on the Internet." Dogbert says, "So you're pitting your intelligence against the collective sex drive of all the teenagers who own computers?" Dilbert asks, "What is your point?" Dogbert replies, "Did you know that if you put a little hat on a snowball it can last a long time in hell?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #test new invention, #dirty pictures, #internet, #youthful curioisty, #technical brillainace, #eyeballs, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice and Dilbert stand behind a little boy who sits at a desk. Dilbert says, "Matt, your job is to test my new invention that blocks kids from seeing dirty pictures on the Internet." As Matt uses the Internet, Dilbert tells Alice, "His youthful curiosity is no match for my technical brilliance." Matt stops typing and stares at the screen. Dilbert says to Alice, "I hope that wasn't the sound of eyeballs getting really big."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1996's comic on:


Tags #coprotae cultures, #strategic allance, #issues, #beta code, #internet, #empowerment, #press release, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of an overhead projector discussing "Strategic Alliance Issues." Dilbert says, "Issue one: Our two companies have very different corporate cultures." A man with a goatee sits at the conference table working on a laptop. A woman with spiked hair sits next to him. The man says, "While you were droning I slammed out some beta code and put it on the Internet for comments." Dilbert says, "My company prefers to have that kind of decision made by uninformed executives. We call it 'empowerment.'" The man replies, "I'll mention that in the press release."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #different religions, #flexible, #change relgion, #whole religion, #based on not dating, #Sunday, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman at a desk tells Dilbert, "I'm flattered. But I can't date you because we're different religions." Dilbert says, "I'm flexible. I'd change my religion to get a date." The woman replies, "It wouldn't work in this case." Dilbert sits on the couch and asks Dogbert, "Did you know there's a whole religion based on not dating me?" Dogbert asks, "Where do you think I go every Sunday?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #chair the fun commitee, #improve morale, #internet, #personal reasons, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands behind Wally's desk and says, "Wally, two things . . ." The Boss says, "Number one, I want you to chair the 'fun committee' to improve employee morale." The Boss says, "Two, according to this report, you've been using the Internet for personal reasons."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil, #executed, #hr driector, #ill be fired, #internet, #non buiness, #personal thoughts, #sadistic policies, #senseless, #warning, #mass email, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands at his desk and types, "Any employee who uses the Internet for non-business purposes will be fired." Catbert types, "And any employee who sits in a company chair while having a personal thought will be executed by security." Catbert smiles and thinks, "The great thing about senseless, sadistic policies is that they don't require a lot of explanation."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #added billions, #create system, #employee of the week, #hire experts, #product process, #stock value, #new internet product

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. He says, "We've identified the people who will create the system to develop a product process." Dilbert points at a newspaper and continues, "While we were doing that, our competitor created a new Internet product that added a billion dollars to their stock value." Dilbert says, "Experts attribute the company's success to their 'employee of the week' program." The Boss says, "Quick! Hire those experts!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #detective, #research, #potential, #romantic, #partner, #considering, #dating, #worried, #bill, #ego, #emotional, #depth, #conversations, #cheating, #body, #mind, #normal, #bad, #news

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk under a sign that says, "Detective research on your potential romantic partner." A woman says, "I'm considering dating a man, but I'm worried." Dogbert asks, "What's his name?" The woman answers, "Bill . . . His name is Bill." Dogbert says, "Ahh . . . Bill . . . Yes, I know all about Bill." Dogbert continues, "Bill has a huge ego. All he thinks about is himself." Dogbert continues, "He has no emotional depth and he thinks of your conversations as mere chatter. He wants your body, not your mind." Dogbert continues, "Several times a day, Bill imagines himself with different women." The woman looks upset. The customer says, "Darn. This time I thought I'd found a normal guy." Dogbert says, "I have some really bad news for you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1997's comic on:


Tags #internet community, #sarcastic suggestion, #email campaign, #improve image, #mass unsolicited, #tell people, #how nice we are

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss walks up behind him and says, "We have to improve our image in the Internet community." Dilbert says, "Let's do a mass unsolicited e-mail campaign to tell people how nice we are." Dilbert comes home and looks very angry. Dogbert says, "You have the look of a man who was just put in charge of implementing his own sarcastic suggestion."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #ads, #bad opinions, #capatalism, #cardboard tube, #free, #internet, #people, #something free, #greedy corporations, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert listens to an in-duh-vidual who says, "The Internet should be free. Why should I have to pay some greedy corporation or look at ads??!!" Dogbert says, "I will now use this cardboard tube to explain the intricacies of capitalism." The in-duh-vidual lies on the floor with stars floating around his head. Dogbert says, "Lesson One: This was something that should be free.