Inventions Comic Strips - Page 5
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72 Results for Inventions
View 41 - 50 results for inventions comic strips. Discover the best "Inventions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 24,
2013
Tags cruelty, inventions, joking, meat bags, robot, capability, humor, learn humor
Transcript
Robot: Hey, meat-bags! I'm here to take your jobs! Ha ha! Not really. I won't have that capability for two or three years. Dilbert: When did you learn humor? Robot: Humor? I was going for cruelty.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday October 25,
2013
Tags fear, inventions, machinery, squeaky chair, cushion, posessed, robot leaks
Transcript
Robot: My chair is squeaky. How do I fix that? squeak squeak Alice: Die! And now your chair is oiled. Robot: Mostly the cushion.
Saturday November 02,
2013
Tags inventions, meat, thinking, write ideas, brainstorming, lunch meat, robot, human, confuisng
Transcript
Boss: Tina, I asked you to write up the best ideas from our brainstorming session. The top one on your list is "A Robot Made of Lunch Meat." That's basically just a human. Tina: What part of "Best Ideas" is confusing you?
Monday November 11,
2013
Tags biometric sensor, cruelty, electric shock, inventions, prototype, tasered, test animals, humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I added a biometric sensor to our smartphone prototype. ZZEEEP It uses x-rays. Boss: Maybe you should have tested it on animals first. Dilbert: Do I look like an animal hater?
Sunday December 22,
2013
Tags inventions, automate, drone, send drone, designed, hydrogen, wool sweater, humanity
Transcript
Boss: I found a way to automate the hardest part of my job. I used to do a log of "management by walking around." It was exhausting. Now I just send my drone. I designed it myself and had it built in Elbonia. The hydrogen makes it lighter than air. Dilbert: Hydrogen? Boss: Let's see what Ted is up to. He's wearing a wool sweater today. Ted: Oh, the humanity! Boss: Hold this.
Tuesday January 14,
2014
Tags embarrassment, inventions, good news, fuel source, organic waste material, awkward
Transcript
Dilbert: the good news is that we're going to test a new furl source for you. The bad news is that the fun source is organic waste material. Irs awkward for me too. Just close your eyes , ok?
Wednesday January 15,
2014
Tags competition (psychology), inventions, space flight, elon musk, space hsips, electric cars, electric rocket, robots, colonize, planet, power cord
Transcript
CEO: I want to be more visionary than Elon Musk. All he does is build spaceships and electric cars. I want you to build me an electric rocket ship full of robots that can colonize other worlds. Which planet should we do first? Dilbert: Depends how long the power cord is.
Wednesday February 19,
2014
Tags death & dying, inventions, cryonics, preserve brain, transhumanism, robot body, staus update, favors, repaid
Transcript
Dilbert: Cryonics will allow me to preserve my brain until the age of transhumanism so I can live forever in a robot body. Boss: Dilbert, I need a status update on why your last status wasn't updated. Dilbert: Please kill me now. Wally: I don't do favors that can't be repaid.
Thursday February 20,
2014
Tags death & dying, inventions, health directive, technological progress, transhumanism, kill me, robot body forever, make painful
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm updating my health directive to account for technological progress. When the age of transhumanism is upon us, I want you to kill me so I don't live forever in a robot body. Dogbert: Sure. Can I make it painful? Dilbert: Why would you even ask that?
Sunday May 04,
2014
Tags inventions, thinking, product ideas, billion dollar ideas, unwilling, corporation, dumb person idea, pretend, drone that attacks, wooden screen phone
Transcript
Boss: Does anyone have any billion-dollar product ideas? Dilbert: There's a logical problem with that question. If I had a billion-dollar idea, I would quit this job and start my own company. Only a dumb person would give you his best idea for free. And the best idea from a dumb person is still dumb. But I am willing to give you some ideas that are too lame for my own use. Boss: Can you at least pretend to suggest good ideas? Dilbert: Sure. How about a phone with a wooden screen? Wally: How about a drone that attacks anyone who looks at it?


