Jargon Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

57 Results for Jargon

View 41 - 50 results for jargon comic strips. Discover the best "Jargon" comics from Dilbert.com.

That's Motivation Not Stalking

Thank you for voting.
That's Motivation Not Stalking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #compliment, #managers, #jargon, #sincerity, #insincere, #motivation, #motivate, #annoyance, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, you're doing a great job and the company values you. Alice: Your insincere management babble is making me uncomfortable. Boss: That's motivation you're feeling. Alice: I'm getting more of a stalker vibe.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #financial, #jargon, #money, #accounting, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #speech, #words, #nonsense, #training, #trainee, #strategy, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.

Standup Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Standup Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #software, #engineer, #coding, #jargon, #language, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are you coming to the standup meeting? Wally: Is it okay if I sit instead? Dilbert: No, that would ruin the software. Dilbert: Did that make sense when I said it? Wally: No, and it isn't aging well either.

Resources Complain

Thank you for voting.
Resources Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #language, #jargon, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.

Culture As An Asset

Thank you for voting.
Culture As An Asset - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #company, #culture, #motivation, #strategy, #buzzword, #jargon, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've been telling employees that our culture is our best asset. Catbert: Do they pretend that makes sense? Boss: Yes, because we have a culture of lying to avoid conflict.

View From Thirty Thousand Feet

Thank you for voting.
View From Thirty Thousand Feet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #distance, #jargon, #managers, #leadership, #buzzwords, #guidance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What's the view on this from thirty thousand feet? Alice: From that distance, everything we do is meaningless. Boss: Then how do we know what to do? Alice: I guess we ruled out "leadership."

Explaining Block Chain To Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Explaining Block Chain To Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #explanation, #teaching, #language, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: This would be a perfect application for blockchain. Man: I'm in marketing. Can you explain that in terms I can understand? Alice: I kinda doubt it. Man: Because your a bad explainer, right?

Initial Coin Offering

Thank you for voting.
Initial Coin Offering  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #ico, #cryptocurrency, #bitcoin, #jargon, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe we should do an initial coin offering, or ICO. Boss: What's that? Dilbert: It's a non-equity process for raising capital that uses a custom crypto-currency and the blockchain. I might be wasting my time here. Boss: So... it's a chain made out of coins?

Deducing Rank

Thank you for voting.
Deducing Rank - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hierarchy, #rank, #marketing, #jargon, #lingo, #adspeak, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know how to answer your question because I got here late and I haven't deduced your rank in the company. Woman: I'm the new director of Marketing, so you need to pretend my question makes sense. Dilbert: Give me a minute to get into that mindset. Woman: Take your time.