Known Idiots Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

130 Results for Known Idiots

View 41 - 50 results for known idiots comic strips. Discover the best "Known Idiots" comics from Dilbert.com.

Fairness Is For Kids And Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fairness Is For Kids And Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fair, #fairness, #wages, #equality, #worth, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The new hire gets paid more than me. It isn't fair. Dogbert: Fairness is a concept that was invented so kids and idiots could participate in debates. Dilbert: Hey, that's not fair. Dogbert: The best case scenario here is that you're younger than you look.

Avoid Offending Sensitive Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Avoid Offending Sensitive Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #politeness, #etiquette, #communication, #sensitive, #feelings, #offense, #political correctness, #politically correct

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Avoid offending sensitive idiots whenever possible. Man: I'm a sensitive idiot and I find that offensive. Dogbert: It's okay in your case because you had it coming. Man: Good point. Carry on.

Arguing With Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Arguing With Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #secret, #tip, #arguing, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, how do you stay happy while the rest of us are stressed out? Wally: It's easy. Instead of arguing with idiots, I pretend I agree with them so they'll leave me alone. Asok: That sounds risky. Wally: Yes, I agree.

Post Mortem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Post Mortem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #project, #idiots

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss around a conference table: let's do a post-mortem on our failed project to see what we did wrong. dilbert: we allowed idiots to make decisions. the boss: you say that every time. dilbert: i haven't been wrong yet.

Input From Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Input From Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology, #input, #idiots, #project, #variety, #dumb, #informed, #leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: per your orders, i got input on my project from a variety of people who are dumber and less informed than i am. as you might imagine, the net effect was to make everything worse. boss: are you done? dilbert: i just want to thank you for all the leadership.

Conflict Resolution

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Conflict Resolution  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #anger, #office workers, #conflict, #resolution, #discussion, #temperature, #idiots, #yammering, #sarcasm, #insult

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i couldn't help noticing you are having a heated discussion. watch me use my conflict resolution skills to lower the temperature. okay, what were you idiots yammering about? tina: solid start.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviewed users, #suggestions, #idiots, #dumb suggestions, #hindsight

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We interviewed hundreds of users and turned all of their suggestions into features. As it turns out, every user we talked to was an idiot, and their dumb suggestions ruined our product. In hindsight, we probably should have talked to people who work outside this building.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disc jockeys, #protest movements, #threatening boycott, #dogcart insulted, #organic substance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are threatening to boycott us if we continue to advertise on Dogbert's radio show. Dogbert insulted every man, woman, child and organic substance in the known universe. He called the moon something that rhymes with totem. Boss: Modem?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #friends, #intelligence, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've decided to make some dog friends, but I don't even know what other dogs do when they get together." Dilbert replies, "Well, I suppose they would bark like idiots, run around in circles, and sniff every part of your body." Dogbert says, "I guess 'Scrabble' is out of the question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criminals, #election, #meeting, #window, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, who is wearing a sash and carrying a flashlight, "I still think it's dumb to elect the only known criminal around as leader of the neighborhood crime watch." Dilbert responds, "Maybe 'Bad Ed' has changed." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert reads the note on the brick and says, "It's from Ed. 'Next meeting: Tuesday at 8:00 P.M.'" Dogbert says, "I can't wait for the newsletter."