Last Three Times Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for last three times comic strips. Discover the best "Last Three Times" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dignity, #creativity, #precious earth, #blood drive, #three pint minimum

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "This job has taken my dignity, my self-esteem, my creativity and my precious time on this earth." The man continues, "You've taken all I have! There's nothing left to give!!!" The Boss says, "The blood drive is next week. This year it's mandatory . . . And a three-pint minimum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts tech support, #three menu, #read a memo

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DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "So . . . There are three menu choices and the first two didn't work . . ." Dogbert's continues, "Some people would have recklessly tried the third choice before calling for help. But I can tell you're different." Dogbert continues, "Let's be honest with ourselves, Dave. Do you think anybody is going to read a memo from you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design interface, #got out, #hired professional, #international terrorist, #last week, #went to yale, #new employee, #talks with dilbert

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a professional to help us design our product interface." The Boss continues, "His last job was as an international terrorist. It's not a perfect fit but he went to Yale." Dilbert sits at a table and says to the man sitting with him, "So, I hear you went to Yale, Sven." Sven answers, "I yust got out last week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #same meail, #last week, #best of wally, #cube sabbaticle, #first notice

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Dilbert peers over the cubicle wall and says, "Wally, you just sent me the same e-mail you sent last week." Wally says, "I'm rerunning the 'Best of Wally' while I'm on in-cube sabbatical." Dilbert asks, "How long is your sabbatical?" Wally replies, "Six months so far, and you're the first to notice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teds baby shower, #gift, #hand crafted items, #three holes, #paper bag, #lovely baby dress, #cheap

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At lunch, Dilbert says to Wally, "I don't know what kind of gift to buy for Ted's baby shower." Wally responds, "Hand-crafted items are good. Cut three holes in a paper bag and you've got a lovely baby dress." Dilbert says, "He might think I'm cheap." Wally holds up the table's salt shaker and asks, "Do you think the kid has a salt shaker yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change, #prehistoric times, #ancestors, #caves, #grunting, #not very productive, #all day long

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Dilbert sits at his desk and faces Wally who is holding a cup of coffee. Dilbert says to Wally, "It's amazing how much we've changed since prehistoric times." Dilbert continues, "Our ancestors just sat around in caves, grunting and drawing on the wall." Wally comments, "Not very productive." Dilbert draws crude pictures on the blackboard in his cubicle. He tells Wally, "It was just this, all day long." Wally answers, "Mmm. Yup."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brittle writer, #thelma and louise, #bad drivers, #not offended, #three stooges, #all documentraies, #Men

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The caption reads, "Dogbert tweaks Tina the brittle tech writer." Dogbert asks Tina, "What do you think of the movie 'Thelma and Louise?'" Tina responds, "I know what you're trying to say. You think all women are bad drivers. That's really the point of the movie, isn't it??" The caption reads, "If you're not offended yet, tune in tomorrow." Dogbert asks Tina, "The 'Three Stooges?'" Tina cries, "Why are ALL of the documentaries about MEN??!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrible news, #valuable porject, #three morons, #assigned, #crush them, #carl, #nothing valauable, #shoo shoo

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Dilbert lies on the couch with his knees bent and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert says, "Terrible news: my boss assigned me to a fun and valuable project." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh. That means at least three morons will be assigned to similar projects. You must find them and crush them . . ." Dilbert says, "Exactly." Back at the office, Dilbert enters a co-worker's cubicle and says, "Carl, old buddy, whatcha workin' on these days?" Carl waves his hands and says, "Nothing fun and valuable. Shoo shoo!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bear, #Dilbert, #sales, #seven times

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. The doorbell rings. Dilbert opens the door and a bear says, "Hi. I'm the bear skin rug you ordered by mail." The bear enters the house and says, "I'm a kit. You just have to kill me, rip my guts out and leave me to dry." Dilbert looks shocked. Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "Egad! I couldn't possibly do that. Please . . . Just go." The bear says, "You'll receive a full refund, of course." Dilbert says, "No, no! Please keep it." The bear, who is really a man in a bear suit, walks into the rug store. A man at a desk asks, "How were sales today?" The man in the suit replies, "Great! Sold myself seven times."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #mystery, #movie, #surprised, #ending, #life, #tootsie, #hundred, #times, #strangers, #clearly

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Dilbert stands in line at a video store. The man in front of him hands a video tape to the sales clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk asks, "Why would anybody BUY a mystery movie?!" The clerk asks, "What do you do, watch it a hundred times and act surprised at the ending?" She hands the video back to the customer and says, "Get a life." Dilbert hands his selection to the clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk says, "Tootsie?! You want to OWN a movie about a man who wears dresses?!" Dilbert says, "What?! I thought it was a documentary about Tootsie Rolls. You should label those things more clearly!" Dilbert sits in his chair holding a copy of Rambo. He asks Dogbert, "Is it a sin to lie to strangers?" Dogbert replies, "The way you do it, yes."