Lazy And Dumb Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

274 Results for Lazy And Dumb

View 41 - 50 results for lazy and dumb comic strips. Discover the best "Lazy And Dumb" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2001's comic on:


Tags #angry dumb guy, #Opinion, #beat it out, #self hurting

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The Angry Dumb Guy. Dilbert is sitting next to a male coworker. The coworker raises his arms and says, "If anyone wants my opinion..." Dilbert turns towards the coworker as he points to himself. The coworker continues, "...I'll beat it out of me!" Dilbert responds, "I want your opinion." The coworker turns to Dilbert, pulls his own tie with one hand and raises his other fist. He exclaims, "Oh yeah? Let's see if I have one!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dating attractive men, #dumb self centered, #intelligent homely guy, #gym, #free weights, #girl talk, #Dilbert, #Women

View Transcript

Transcript

Two women are at the gym. The dark haired says to the light haired, "I'm tired of dating attractive men who are dumb and self-centered." The dark haired continues, "Maybe I can find an intelligent homely guy and clean him up." The light haired exclaims, "No!!!" Dilbert approaches the women and asks, "Do you mind if I work in a set with those five-pounders?" The dark haired looks at Dilbert from the corner of her eye and smiles. The light haired screams, "Don't do it, Amber!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #client, #to dumb, #embezzle, #dogbert the lawyer, #calling jury dumb

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a jury, "I will prove that my client is too dumb to embezzle." Dogbert continues, "Or, failing in that, I'll prove that you're too dumb to know he did it." The judge starts, "Mister Dogbert..." Dogbert interrupts, "Don't get me started about you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #lazy beaver, #excuses, #doesnt return calls, #making excuses, #more jobs, #future jobs, #scamming, #both sdies

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide of the beaver and says, "The project is behind schedule because our contractor is a lazy beaver." Dilbert says to The Boss, "For a while he was making up excuses. Now, he doesn't return calls." The Boss replies, "What's your plan?" Dilbert says, "I hope to get him back to making up excuses by promising him more jobs in the future."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #fire toxic co worker, #lazy and ineffectual, #selfish, #toxic guy, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and Alice approach The Boss. Dilbert says, "We demand that you fire our toxic co-worker." Wally turns to Dilbert and asks, "You aren't talking about me, are you?" Dilbert turns and says, "No, you're lazy and ineffectual with an overlay of selfish." Wally asks, "And I hate the toxic guy?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #hire emplyees, #qaulified, #hore dumb people, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "We can't afford to hire qualified employees." Catbert continues, "My plan is to hire dumb people and be angry at them." Catbert replies, "I forget - what's the word for pretending that people can change their basic nature?" The Boss replies, "Motivation?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2003's comic on:


Tags #lazy rich, #new product, #rebate, #1 million, #banking on forgetting, #great bargain, #one person

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Don't sell your new product for $29. Offer it at $1,000,029 with a rebate of $1,000,000." "People will think it's a great bargain when in fact it's just a huge inconvenience." The Boss: "And all we need is one person to forget to mail in the rebate forms." Dogbert: "We'll target the lazy rich."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #360 review, #evil, #judged, #lazy, #manipulative, #no risk, #quality of work, #retribution

View Transcript

Transcript

"It's called a 360 degree review. You get to evaluate me at no risk of retribution." "No matter what you say about me, you will only be judged on the quality of your work." "Sometimes you are lazy, evil and manipulative." "The quality of your work just went way down."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #televison show, #doctor dogbert, #lazy, #immoral, #fat morons

View Transcript

Transcript

"I plan to start my own television talk show." "I'll change my name to 'Doctor Dogbert' so people think I'm qualified to call them lazy, immoral fat morons." "You already call people those names." "Yeah, but I want them to thank me for it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2004's comic on:


Tags #doctor dogbert show, #immoral moron, #lazy, #miracle worker, #passing judgement, #selfish, #time waster

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor Dogbert Show "Your problem is that you're a lazy, selfish, immoral moron." "Shouldn't you listen to my story before passing judgement?" "I'm adding 'time waster' to the list." "You're like a miracle worker."