Lazy But Funny Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Lazy But Funny

View 41 - 50 results for lazy but funny comic strips. Discover the best "Lazy But Funny" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags critical system, all the power, essential upgardes, simple fool, next emplyee, vendor issues, compatibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk and says to Wally, "It's funny - before your company bought that critical system from me, YOU had all the power . . ." Dogbert yells, "But now, only I can provide essential upgrades!! I call the shots, you simple fool!!" Dogbert says, "Send in the next employee." Outside the cubicle Dilbert and another employee are standing in line holding numbers. The man says, "At least we don't have any multi-vendor compatibility issues."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, concludes, proposal, executive, commitee, Dogbert, presentation, mocking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to an easel holding a pointer. He says, "This concludes my proposal to the executive committee. Any questions?" An executive replies, "No, I think most of us were thing about other things." The man continues, "But here's my impression of what you looked like giving the presentation." The man stands up and mocks Dilbert. He says, "Fuh fuh fuh . . ." Another exec says, "No, no, it was more like . . ." The man stands up, makes a funny face and says, "Fuh fuh fuh . . ." Dilbert arrives at home. Dogbert asks, "How did your presentation go?" Dilbert replies, "Don't ask." Dogbert says, "Fuh fuh. Don't ask. Fuh fuh . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags paradigm, project, new, level, bought, paradigmism, Dilbert, meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. The man next to Dilbert says, "My project is a whole new paradigm." Dilbert asks, "What's a paradigm?" The man replies, "Heh-heh . . . 'What's a paradigm' . . . Funny." Dilbert says, "Seriously, what is it?" The man replies, "You know . . . Paradigm, paradigmish . . ." The man continues, "As in 'this project is a paradigm.'" The man says, "But enough about my project . . . Tell us about your project." Dilbert says, "It's a paradigm." Another man says, "My project is a paradigm too." Dilbert whispers to the man sitting next to him, "They bought it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career advice, career counselor, seek advice, sounds lazy, unhelpful, work hard, insecure people, self relaint

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the bed watching Dilbert tie his tie. Dogbert says, "I'm going to try my paw at being a career counselor." Dogbert continues, "Insecure people will seek my advice and I'll tell them to be more self-reliant." Dilbert says, "That sounds lazy and unhelpful." Dogbert asks, "Would you want career advice from somebody who has to work hard?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags artificial urgency, gibberish, god news, mission, objectives uncler, insane but happy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "Our objectives are unclear and our mission statement is gibberish . . ." Wally continues, "But thanks to an artificial sense of urgency, I'm working harder than ever!" The Boss asks, "What's the good news you said you have?" Wally answers, "Apparently I'm insane. But I'm one of the happy kinds!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lowly intern, obvious solution, clear buffers, initialize link, code patch, memory leak, salary, twice as much, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I am only a lowly intern, but I see an obvious solution to your problem." Asok says, "Just click here . . . Clear your buffers and initialize the link . . . Now use this code patch for the memory leak." Asok says, "This is funny if you consider that your salary is twice as much as mine." Wally replies, "I'm laughing on the inside."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags both dead, doing nothing, hundred years, spread joy, whats funny, working hard, ratbert, Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert walks across Dilbert's desk and says, "You know what's funny? I'll tell you." Ratbert continues, "You're working hard. I'm doing nothing. In a hundred years we'll both be dead." Dilbert says angrily, "You might not need to wait that long." Ratbert says as he walks away, "I think I'll spread some joy over this way."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags banning cartoons, anti management, hurt morale, banning humor, raise morale, not funny

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm banning the posting of anti-management cartoons in the office. They hurt morale." Dilbert asks, "You're banning humor to raise morale?" The Boss asks, "Is there something wrong with that?" Dilbert shows the Boss a newspaper and says, "It's the subject of today's cartoon." The Boss asks, "And you see how it's not funny?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags everyone talks funny, not morons, incapable, clear communication, think outside box, watch ego, before ego dies, rebel, do it

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk. Asok the Intern says, "I finally figured out why everyone talks so funny in this company." Asok says, "We're not morons who are incapable of clear communication. We're rebels who like to 'think outside the box.'" The Boss says, "It's always fascinating to watch and ego just before is dies." Asok says, "I'm a rebel! Task me witha 'do it'.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analysts, got a raise, growth, lazy ones, open book management, smooth earnigs, stock market, money

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Asok the Intern, "So you see, if you got a raise, our earnings growth wouldn't be so smooth." The Boss asks, "And smooth earnings are good for who?" Asok ventures a guess, "Stock market analysts?" The Boss corrects him, "Specifically, the lazy ones." Asok says, "I'm fine. Now that I understand."