Lie Comic Strips - Page 5
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Character
116 Results for Lie
View 41 - 50 results for lie comic strips. Discover the best "Lie" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 15,
2020
Safety Record
Saturday November 07,
2020
Coffee Productivity
Tags technology, business, projects, productive, medical, coffee, lie, medical-grade coffee
Transcript
wally in meeting with boss and dilbert: i've been highly productive since switching to medical-grade coffee. i finished all of my projects and did an excellent job on every one. boss: wow! dilbert and wally in hall after: so that stuff actually makes you more productive? wally: no, but it does make me lie better.
Tuesday November 10,
2020
Ted Liked A Tweet
Tags employment, managers & supervisors, fired, business, twitter, tweet, hacked, technology, social media, file, lie, plausible, liked, unacceptable
Transcript
boss: ted, i have to fire you for liking an unacceptable tweet seven years ago on twitter. ed: it..it..wasn't me. someone hacked my account, or maybe my finger slipped. boss: which lie do you want me to put in your file? ted: did either of them sound plausible?
Monday January 25,
2021
Customers Are Dead People
Tags business, business ethics, customer, lists, dead, alive, lie, activist, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: activists are accusing us of padding our customer list with the names of dead people. boss: that's a lie. those customers were alive when they bought our products. dilbert: did they die while using them? boss: let's hope the activists don't ask that question.
Sunday June 06,
2021
Anonymous Sources
Tags business, sarcasm, technology, company, anonymous, credibility, trust, lie, thief, sources
Transcript
boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.
Sunday July 17,
2011
Tags big business, business ethics, career path, warn you, maximum career potential, less embarrassing car, ne wocmpany, ceo, huge nbonus, conversation
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd like to talk about my career path. Boss: Are you sure? Dilbert: Um... yes. I'm sure. Boss: Don't say I didn't warn you. You're within 20% of your maximum career potential. Your future will be just like the present, except you'll be older and you might own a less-embarrassing car. If you go to a new company, you'll like it at first. But in time you'll realize every place is the same. Dilbert: Gaaa!! Take back the truth!1 Lie to me! Boss: Maybe someday our CEO will make such a huge bonus that he'll want to share some of it with you. Dilbert: I hate! Boss: Hey, I'm the guy who tried to spare you from this conversation.
Wednesday May 06,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, big, ed, hulking, backwards, waving, arms, people, refer, debris
Transcript
Wally says to Dilbert, "Look out! Big Ed is hulking backwards waving his arms again!" Big Ed bumps into Wally and Dilbert and they spill their coffee on themselves. Wally and Dilbert lie on the floor with their legs in the air. Dilbert says, "Big people can be so annoying." Wally replies, "I just wish he wouldn't refer to us as debris."
Tuesday July 13,
1993
Tags ratbert, tv, tv commercial
Transcript
Ratbert stands in front of the television. An announcer asks, "Are you tired of fad diets and fad exercise devices?" Ratbert replies, "Yes, I am!" Dogbert appears in the commercial and says, "Then buy my book and get the revolutionary Joggerobic Carpet Patch for only $19.95 plus shipping and handling." Dogbert continues, "To prove it works, we photographed an actual athlete." Ratbert says, "Pictures don't lie!"
Saturday December 04,
1993
Tags outdoors, Dilbert, Dogbert, aerobics
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand in front of Dogbert wearing shorts and t-shirts. Dogbert says, "Skeptics say that a company fitness program will not succeed. Let's do some aerobics and see who's right!" Dilbert and the other engineers hit and kick each other as they try to do aerobics. The employees lie in a pile on the floor. Dilbert says, "The skeptics are right." Dogbert replies, "We usually are."
Wednesday July 13,
1994
Tags career criminlas, jail, sentences, don't reduce crime, commit crimes, others commit crimes, statistics
Transcript
"I oppose putting career criminals in jail for life. There's no evidence that longer sentences reduce crime." "So, your theory is that when career criminals are in jail, other people commit more crimes to keep the average up..." "Statistics don't lie, Dogbert." "Unless bad statistics went to jail - then the others WOULD like."

