Likes Pets Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

61 Results for Likes Pets

View 41 - 50 results for likes pets comic strips. Discover the best "Likes Pets" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #sales, #travel, #business, #idiot, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The opening is in sales. Do you like to travel." Man says, "Yes. It's my favorite thing." The Boss says, "No one likes business travel. You're either an idiot or you've never done business travel." Man says, "How dare you accuse me of not traveling."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #orders, #demands, #work, #ridiculous, #confused

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, rummage through the piles on my desk and find yourself something to do." The boss says, "Afterward, chastise yourself for not doing it the way I would have." Asok says, "Even if you would have done it wrong?" The boss, "Especially then. No one likes a show-off."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #artist, #struggling, #bills, #art, #abstract

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I work here to pay the bills but I'm actually an artist." Dilbert says, "Wow. You must be a terrible artist if you have to work here just to eat." Man says, "My work isn't commercial." Wally says, "It's not really art if no one likes it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #employee moral survey, #open, #honest, #communication from management, #death spiral, #looting comaony, #noise, #fishing lures, #e, #ploys suffer, #boss likes hurting, #sick boss, #negative force

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have the results of the employee morale survey." "The number one issue is 'not enough open and honest communication from management.'" "Well, okay. I'm willing to give that a try." "Management is looting the company while hiding the fact that we're in a death spiral." "Whenever you talk, I think about fishing lures until the noise stops." "When I see an employee suffer, it excites me in ways I don't understand." "On nine separate occasions I've fired bald guys because I thought they were you." "If this doesn't work for you. Let me know on next employee morale survey."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #planned power outage, #office, #dedication, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: There will be a planned power outage all day tomorrow. But I want all of you to come to the office and sit at your desks in case our CEO stops by. Dilbert: Because he likes it when we act stupid? Boss: It's better for everyone if we call it dedication.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2013's comic on:


Tags #dating, #internet & world wide web, #social media cosultant, #one like, #less than ten thousand, #insulting, #elbonian, #inflate your like count, #socialize, #wine glasses, #bar wine, #kiss, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a social media consultant. Dilbert: I like you. Woman: Phhht. You're giving me one like? Anything less than ten thousand likes is an insult. Dilbert: I'll be right back. I hired an Elbonian to artificially inflate your like count. Elbonian: Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Dilbert: I am not paying that guy.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2013's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #inventions, #google search engine, #existing prodcuts, #crushing dreams, #new invention

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Behold my new invention, the likes of which the world has never seen. Dogbert: Behold my Google search engine that will find several existing products that do whatever that thing does. Dilbert: Please don't. Dogbert: Google: crushing dreams since 1998. click click click

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2014's comic on:


Tags #close friends, #facebook, #fix problem, #friends, #liked, #posts, #seven friends, #therapy, #shrink, #popularity, #social media, #technology, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: No one "likes" my Facebook posts. woman: How many Facebook friends do you have? Dilbert: Seven. Woman: Are they close friends? Dilbert: How do you define close? Woman: Have you here invited any of these people to your house? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Woman: I can't fix your problem. SO instead , I'll plant some false memories and try to fox those later. Do you remember being a robot that was designed by alines? Dilbert: No. woman: are you sure? Dilbert: I was.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #executives, #work ethic, #acting ceo, #murder employees, #start up, #unprofitable, #ridiculous jargon, #wishful thinking, #luck, #show off, #management fad

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I heard that while you were acting CEO you... murdered nine employees, bought an unprofitable start-up and embraced a new management fad that is nothing but ridiculous jargon and wishful thinking. No one likes a show-off. Boss: I swear it was just luck.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2014's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #joking, #practical jokes, #sex appeal, #sexiness, #honor, #practical joke, #evil genius, #cleverly, #concealed, #true identity, #sit on rocks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I was named one of the sexiest engineers in the world! Dogbert: That honor sounds like a practical joke perpetrated by an evil genius who cleverly concealed his true identity. Dilbert: Nah. Dogbert: And I bet he likes to sit on rocks.