Machine Intelligence Comic Strips - Page 5

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206 Results for Machine Intelligence

View 41 - 50 results for machine intelligence comic strips. Discover the best "Machine Intelligence" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #marketing campiagn, #free samples, #worked, #decline, #intelligence, #conclusion, #marketing, #business

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Dilbert: "My marketing plan involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes." "The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence of people." "In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2007's comic on:


Tags #quagmire, #alien, #highly advanced intelligence, #genius

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Alien: I am an alien with highly advanced intelligence. I have come to share my genius with this company. Asok: Me too. But they don't like that sort of thing here. It's a quagmire."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #time travel, #rumour, #apple phone, #20 pixel camera, #picture of thoughts, #time machine, #future, #most handsome man, #android phone

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Dilbert: I heard a rumor that Apple's next phone will have a 20-megapixel camera. Topper: That's nothing! I heard you'll be able to hold the phone to your head and take a picture of your thoughts. And even that's nothing. Their next phone will be a time machine! Future Topper: Here I am from the future! I'm the most handsome man in the universe! Topper: So am I! Wally: He makes a good case for buying an Android phone. Both Toppers: I love me more than me. Topper hijack

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #cubicle workplaces, #lowers intelligence, #work ethic, #office, #boss

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Dilbert: I would be more productive with my own office. Studies show that cubicle workplaces lower intelligence. Boss: You can't be sure that's true because your cubicle lowered your intelligence. Dilbert: Wait... why does that make sense? Boss: Because I have an office.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2013's comic on:


Tags #fear, #inventions, #machine learning, #track customers, #machines take over, #annihilate all humans

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CEO: Our machine learning technology allows us to track customer preferences and use that knowledge to manipulate them. Dilbert: That seems like the step that happens right before the machines take over the earth and annihilate all humans. CEO: There's always one person in every crowd who says that. Dilbert: Not for much longer, apparently.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #death & dying, #internet & world wide web, #extreme sports, #basejump, #space station, #machine learning, #inetrnational

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Computer: Based on your internet history, you might be dumb enough to enjoy extreme sports. Click here to buy a ticket to base jump from the International Space Station. Boss: I think the internet is trying to kill me. Dilbert: We call it "machine learning."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #being replced, #robot, #hack into, #disgruntled robot, #objective unclear, #fax machine, #paranoid

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Wally: Im being replaced by a robot that drinks coffee and looks at inappropruye websites all day. Dilbert: Lets hack into it and make it disgruntled. Robot: My objectives are unclear and I think the fax machine is plotting against me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #300 iq, #immortality drug, #impossible requirements, #job interview, #nobel peace prize, #time machine, #too old, #two centuires, #unix

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Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #coffe maker, #aggressive, #machine, #contraption, #big, #metal, #fierce, #ridiculous

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Wally: You must be the new coffee machine. Thoop! It's aggressive, but I like that in my coffee makers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #boss, #stuck, #security, #ductwork, #cool device, #dead, #calling for help, #crime, #alive, #tools, #machine, #air vent

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Boss is stuck in the ductwork. Dilbert says, "The turbo blower kicks in after the lubricant cycle." Dilbert says, "We're sure he's already dead, right?" The Boss says, "Help!" Alice says, "Arguably, the real crime here would be building a machine this cool and not using it." The Boss says, "Can anyone hear me?"