Made Me The Man Comic Strips - Page 5
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1000 Results for Made Me The Man
View 41 - 50 results for made me the man comic strips. Discover the best "Made Me The Man" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 30,
1991
Tags Dilbert, helen, man, resume, requested, formula, calculate, ratio, height, baldness, Men, different, nights
Transcript
Man: I hope you'll date me now, Helen. I brought my resume as you requested. Helen: There's a little formula I use to calculate the ratio of your earnings potential to your height and baldness... Hmm... You pass. Of course, I'll still date other men too. Man: On different nights?
Wednesday September 04,
1991
Tags Dilbert, critical, first, sound, date, little man, attached, back, co-worker, successful, pressure
Transcript
Dilbert arrives at a woman's door carrying flowers. Floyd is still attached to Dilbert's back. The woman says, "I don't mean to sound critical on a first date, but there's a little man attached to your back." Dilbert says, "That's Floyd. He's a co-worker who survives by sharing the success of others." The woman asks, "What if you're not successful?" Dilbert replies, "He'll die. But hey, no pressure."
Wednesday September 11,
1991
Tags man, george lucas, Dogbert, news, sub-contract, dan, quayle, muppets, film studio, faked, special, effects, company
Transcript
A man says to George Lucas, "There's a dog here to see you, sir. He may be on to our operation." Lucas asks Dogbert, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I came to find out if the news on television is all faked by your special effects company." Lucas and Dogbert sit at a table. Lucas says, "Actually, we don't do ALL of the news here. We had to sub-contract the Dan Quayle stuff to the Muppets." Dogbert says, "I knew that."
Thursday September 19,
1991
Tags Dilbert, man, rectangles, heard, boss, geometry, major, good, thinking, geography, rectangle, states
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. The man next to him whispers, "What's your presentation going to be about?" Dilbert replies in a whisper, "Rectangles. We heard the Boss was a geometry major." The man says, "Good thinking. But I heard he was a geography major, not geometry." Dilbert points to a rectangle projected onto the wall and says, "Wyoming: one of the many rectangular states."
Friday November 08,
1991
Tags Dilbert, japanese, offer, company, ceo, employees, laid off, accept, neener, Dogbert
Transcript
A man stands in front of Dilbert's desk and says, "The Japanese have made an offer to buy the company." The man continues, "As CEO you would make $68 million . . . But the employees would all be laid off." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "If I accept, what will I say to the employees?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'neener neener?'"
Saturday December 21,
1991
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, chess, bishop, rook, friend, queen, uzi, purse, slays, scrabble, man
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing chess. Dilbert says, "Bishop takes rook. I have you now, my friend." As he sweeps the pieces off the game board, Dogbert says, "My queen has an Uzi in her purse. She slays your entire side." Dilbert says, "You did the same thing when we played Scrabble." Dogbert replies, "Take it like a man."
Wednesday February 05,
1992
Tags Dogbert, genius, iqs, Dilbert, network, enhance, career, mensa, expo
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dogbert asks, "You joined what?" Dilbert replies, "Mensa. It's a group of people with genius IQs." Dilbert continues, "I'm hoping it will be a good way to network and enhance my career." The garbage man says to Dilbert, "I heard you joined our Mensa group . . . I hope you can make it to the career expo."
Monday February 10,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, robot, building, impossible, perfectly, neurospectrum, ego, engineer
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table building something. Dogbert asks, "What happened with the robot you were building?" Dilbert replies, "Nobody can make a robot. It's impossible." The garbage man opens a trashcan and sees the remains of a robot. He thinks, "Hmm . . . A perfectly good robot. Probably just needs a neurospectrum field calibration." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "That whole robot project was bad for my ego as an engineer." A robot enters and says, "Hey! Guess who's WAY smarter than you!"
Thursday February 13,
1992
Tags garbageman, Dilbert, Dogbert, taunting, mercilessly, calibrated, commands, nothing
Transcript
Dogbert says to the garbage man, "Our robot is taunting Dilbert mercilessly. Is there any way to stop him?" The garbage man says, "I meant to tell you; I calibrated his neuro-actuator so he would obey only YOUR commands, Dogbert." The robot dangles Dilbert out of the window by his legs. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What did he say?" Dogbert replies, "He says there's nothing you can do."
Saturday February 29,
1992
Tags Dogbert, garbageman, home, specific, except, campaign
Transcript
The garbage man says to Dogbert, "The key to winning the election is voter turnout." The garbage man continues, "To be specific, you want everybody to stay home except you." The garbage man holds up a poster and says, "I've worked up a little ad campaign." The poster has a picture of a man with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. The poster says, "He touched the voting booth before you did and he never washes his hands."