Made Up Language Comic Strips - Page 5

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425 Results for Made Up Language

View 41 - 50 results for made up language comic strips. Discover the best "Made Up Language" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #being ceo, #made smarter, #capital of japan, #mitubishi, #genius

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The best part about being CEO is that it made me smarter. Watch this. "The capital of Japan is Mitsubishi." "That's right! You're a genius!" "Yesterday I would have said nine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #moving along until, #coding language changed, #methodlogy, #endless stairway, #sea submairne, #mc escher, #morale, #add features

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Dilbert: The project was moving along well until management changed our coding language and methodology. Dilbert: "Now our timeline is represented by this M.C. Escher print of an endless stairway." "This deep-sea submarine is looking for our morale." The Boss: "Would this be a bad time to add a few features?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #prosperity, #intuition, #market research, #success rate, #binary choices, #tiny manager, #made of copper, #business

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Boss: From now on, I'm going to rely on my intuition instead of market research. Dilbert: If guessing can bring your success rate up to 50% for binary choices, I'm all for it. Hey, look! I found a tiny manager made of copper in my pocket!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company invested, #billion dollars, #made up numbers, #slide to oblivion, #made a difference, #victims

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"The company decided to invest a billion dollars based on your stupid made-up numbers." "You've crushed my dreams of a better tomorrow. Now my life is a cold, wet slide to oblivion." "I finally made a difference at work." "how many victims?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget cut, #health, #bleak, #public, #poorly made prodcuts, #elevant, #organs, #still healthy, #black market

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After Budget cuts The boss: It might seem bleak now, but things will turn around... As soon as the public starts loving poorly made products that are relevant to a bygone era. In the meantime, who has organs that are still healthy enough to sell on the black market?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #body language, #at odds with words, #endocrine system, #shutting down, #interrupted boss, #crazy, #psychotic episode

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Asok says, "Am I interrupting anything important?" Asok says, "Oh no. I have seen this before. You are preparing to put your body language at odds with your words!" The Boss says, "I always have time for my least important employee." Asok says, "My endocrine system is shutting down!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp of marketing, #describe prodcut, #marketing language, #overheat, #hottest prodcut, #know carcinigens, #appreciate life!

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Dogbert, the VP of marketing Dogbert: "Describe your product in technical terms and I'll turn it into marketing language." Alice: "Well, it tends to overheat." Dogbert: "'hottest product on the market!'" Alice: "All the parts are known carcinogens." Dogbert: "Makes you appreciate life!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #open door policy, #ruining happiness, #complain, #morale inspiring, #body language, #protective bubble, #stressed out scowl, #stop by, #insincere

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The Boss tells Catbert, "My open door policy is ruining my happiness." The Boss continues, "People stop by all day long and complain." The Boss asks, "How can I maintain the morale-inspiring illusion of an open door policy without actually having one?" Catbert responds, "Use your body language to create a protective bubble of unwelcomness." Catbert clenches his teeth and makes a hostile face. He says, "Try this stressed- out scowl." Dilbert asks Carol, "Can I poke my head in?" Carol responds, "Sure. He has an open door policy." Dilbert enters to find both The Boss and Catbert with stressed-out scowls. The Boss says, "It's a pleasure to see you." Catbert says, "We value your input." Dilbert runs away exclaiming, "Ay-yi-yi-yi!!" The Boss and Catbert poke their heads around the corner, still with stressed-out scowls. The Boss says, "Stop by any time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #comic ends early, #embedded punchline, #follow passion, #joking, #made fat, #set up, #blank frame, #sight gag

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Asok: I tried to follow my passion but it only made me fat. Dogbert: This comic ends early because some idiot embedded the punch line in the setup. Message to Readers

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gods, #language, #elbonian language, #bixtappa, #deity, #mud adder, #strangle

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Boss: We discovered that our product name is an insult in the Elbonian language. So I hired an Elbonian to review our new choices. Elbonian: Gaaa!!! You have offended Bixtappa, the deity of unseasonably warm weather and twice-baked potatoes. Our tradition says I must now strangle you with a mud adder. Luckily, I brought one. Dilbert: Do Elbonians have a lot of deities? Elbonian: No, just the one. Dilbert: He seems easily offended. Elbonian: Grab the head and yank!