Mandatory Software Upgarde Comic Strips - Page 5

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View 41 - 50 results for mandatory software upgarde comic strips. Discover the best "Mandatory Software Upgarde" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #another banner week, #accomplishements, #streamlined, #business process, #valuing diversity, #mandatory training vidoes, #lost free will

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Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm pleased to report another banner week of accomplishments!" Wally continues, "I streamlined my business processes while honing my participatory style and my proactive attitude, all while valuing diversity!" The Boss asks, "You watched the mandatory training videos?" Wally adds, "And I lost my free will!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #alice slams wally, #fast forwarded, #harrasment, #ignore sexy, #mandatory video, #sext, #sexual harassment, #video, #evolution

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Wally says to Alice, "I just watched the mandatory video on sexual harassment. It worked!" Wally continues, "In only thirty minutes, that video corrected a billion years of evolution. Do something sexy and watch me ignore it!" After Alice shoves Wally's head into the wall, he says, "I probably shouldn't have fast-forwarded through the boring parts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1996's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #mandatory blood test, #take drugs, #stealing time, #test, #general health

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Catbert peers over the wall and says, "Wally, it's time for your mandatory blood test." Wally says, "I don't take drugs." Catbert, who is holding a syringe, replies, "I'm testing to see if you're stealing time from the company." Wally asks, "Time? How can you test for that?" Catbert replies, "We test your general health. If it's good, you're not working enough hours. You thief."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #shrink wrap license, #new software, #bill gates, #new mansion, #towel boy

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I didn't read all of the shrink-wrap license agreement on my new software until after I opened it." Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead and he pulls nervously at his tie. Dilbert continues, "Apparently I agreed to spend the rest of my life as a towel boy in Bill Gates' new mansion." Dogbert replies, "Call your lawyer." Dilbert says, "Too late. He opened the software yesterday. Now he's Bill Gates' laundry boy." Dogbert says, "It must be dangerous for lawyers to iron pants. They'd always have one hand in a pocket."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #software license, #rumble, #prepare for assimilation

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit on the armrest of the couch. Dogbert says, ". . . So you didn't read the software license and you inadvertently agreed to be Bill Gates' towel boy in his huge new house. When do we move?" They hear a rumbling noise and the house shakes. A machine crashes through the wall and says, "Prepare for assimilation." Dilbert says, "The house has come for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1997's comic on:


Tags #asok the intern, #installed calendar, #software, #schedule meetings easuer, #cubicle justice, #meeting until 3006, #engineering

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Alice, Asok the Intern and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I installed calendar software on our network." Asok continues, "Now you can see everyone's schedule and easily set up meetings." Dilbert tells Alice, "I say we grab him and apply some cubicle justice." Alice points to the monitor and replies, "Good idea, but I'm in meetings until the year 3006."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #labor saving software, #no labor, #dead office, #nothing on screen, #computer software, #Wally, #Dilbert

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Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk. Wally says, "I wrote this labor-saving software. Watch it do its thing." Dilbert and Wally watch the computer screen. Dilbert asks, "Who can you tell if it's working?" Wally replies, "You don't see any labor happening around here, do you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #despotic nations, #software license, #submit strip searches, #opening package

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Dilbert sits at his desk and reads the back of an envelope. He reads, "Software Licence: By opening this package you agree . . ." Dilbert reads, ". . . You will not make copies or export to despotic nations. You will submit to strip searches in your home . . ." Dilbert rips open the package. A large woman with a flashlight in her belt enters the room. She says, "Frankly, both of us would have been happier if you had just walked away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #network systems, #software manual, #manuals, #mean spirirted, #meet half way, #door, #window

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Dobert and Wally stand looking through a window in a door. Books are stacked on the other side. Dogbert says, "The software manuals are locked in this room." Dogbert continues, "I don't let users have manuals, for reasons that could only be described as mean-spirited." Wally presses himself against the glass and says, "Is there any way we can meet half-way on this?" Dogbert says, "Hey, that door didn't always have a window."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1997's comic on:


Tags #contact, #important documents, #listening, #managers, #mandatory classes, #subordinates, #time mangement, #prerequisite class

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Catbert reads from a paper to the Boss. "There are several mandatory classes for managers." Catbert reads, "Avoiding contact with subordinates, Misplacing important documents, The joy of listening to your own voice." Catbert says, "Have you taken the prerequisite class in time management?" The Boss says, "Twice."