Much Smaller Team Comic Strips - Page 5

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693 Results for Much Smaller Team

View 41 - 50 results for much smaller team comic strips. Discover the best "Much Smaller Team" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #nuclear, #bomb, #much, #deal, #government, #reduce, #national, #debt, #liberal, #hissy, #fit

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Dogbert walks past a man in a trench coat standing on a street corner. The man says, "Psst . . ." The secret agent asks, "Want to buy a nuclear bomb?" Dogbert asks, "How much?" The man replies, "Twenty bucks." Dogbert says, "Deal." Dogbert hands over the money and asks, "Does the government know about this?" The man replies, "I am the government." The man says, "It's the only way we could agree on to reduce the national debt . . . You wouldn't believe how many of these things we have." Dogbert walks down the sidewalk carrying his bomb. Several other people on the street are also carrying bombs. Dogbert thinks, "I'm glad I got mine before some liberal has a hissy fit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #butterfly, #bug, #flying, #much, #now, #kill, #flatten, #becomes, #beautiful, #work, #art, #guts, #wings, #evenly, #spaced, #ants, #pants, #mother, #nature, #standing, #resist

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in the bushes. Dilbert points and says, "Look! A beautiful Regency butterfly!" Dogbert says, "Beautiful?? It's a flying BUG." Dilbert says, "It may not seem like much now . . ." Dilbert continues, "But after we kill it, dip it in chemicals, and flatten it between glass, it becomes a beautiful work of art!" Dogbert asks, "Do we throw away the bug guts and just keep the wings?" Dilbert replies, "No. The guts keep the wings evenly spaced." Dilbert screams and yells, "Ants in my pants!!" He jumps out of the bushes. As Dilbert runs away, a woman comes out of the bushes. Dogbert says, "Mother Nature!" Mother Nature says, "He was standing right on an anthill. I couldn't resist."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #dierctor, #eliminate sick days, #evil human resources, #too much time off, #use vacation days, #demons of darkness

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Catbert stands on the desk and thinks, "The employees have too much time off. It must be stopped." Catbert waves his arms and shouts, "I summon the demons of Darkness to assist me!!!" Catbert sits on the monitor while Phil, the demon of Heck, says, ". . . Eliminate sick days. Make them use vacation days when they're ill. Call it a 'time bank.'" Catbert says, "It's playful . . . It's cruel . . . I like it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #building databse, #coffee mugs, #poor processes, #probelm, #slogan on mugs, #project team

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "You haven't heard what the problem is yet; how can you recommend building a database to solve it??" Wally says, "We always build a database." Dilbert says, "And we'll need coffee mugs for the project team." The Boss says, "The PROBLEM is that we have poor processes." Wally responds, "That could be the slogan on our mugs!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1996's comic on:


Tags #lowly intern, #obvious solution, #clear buffers, #initialize link, #code patch, #memory leak, #salary, #twice as much, #money

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Asok stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I am only a lowly intern, but I see an obvious solution to your problem." Asok says, "Just click here . . . Clear your buffers and initialize the link . . . Now use this code patch for the memory leak." Asok says, "This is funny if you consider that your salary is twice as much as mine." Wally replies, "I'm laughing on the inside."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #team building, #exercise, #solve problems, #working sundial, #pencil, #donut, #make any differnce, #health

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Dogbert says to Alice, Dilbert, the Boss and Wally, "This next exercise will challenge your ability to solve problems as a team." Dogbert says, "Build a working sundial using only a pencil and a donut." Four hours later, the Boss says with his mouth full, "One more bite isn't going to make any difference." The pencil lies next to a pile of crumbs on the table. Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #problem, #quietly sit, #look mangerly, #idiotic, #leadership, #iron man, #team building, #bunch leadership

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The Boss sits at his desk thinking, "I don't know how to fix any of the problems in this company. Maybe I'll just sit here quietly." The Boss thinks, "No, that wouldn't look managerly . . . I'll have to do something idiotic and hope it looks like leadership." The Boss says to Dilbert, who is sitting at his desk, "We're going to have an 'Iron Man' team-building competition." Dilbert replies, "What a bunch of leadership . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 1996's comic on:


Tags #iron man team, #team building, #exercise, #ten mile swim, #parcticing, #teamwork, #doggie paddle, #health

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Wally, Dilbert and Alice stand on the beach wearing swimsuits. The Boss tells them, "The first leg of the 'Iron Man' team-building exercise is a ten-mile swim, I think." The Boss says, "I won't be participating because my teamwork skills are already excellent." The Boss thinks, "Two phrases you don't expect to hear in the same day are 'Iron Man' and 'doggie paddle.'" Someone in the water says, "Hey! No splashing!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil, #hr dircetor, #hire programmer, #project team, #first seek candidates, #nine qualified, #sock puppet, #policies, #designed, #sole purpose, #saditic tendencies

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Alice says to Catbert, "I need to hire a programmer for my project team." Catbert says, "Our policy is to first seek candidates from within the company. If none is qualified, you must use a sock puppet." Alice asks, "How many of your policies are designed for the sole purpose of satisfying your sadistic tendencies?" Catbert replies, "All of them. Some are just more obvious."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1997's comic on:


Tags #rather the consulatant, #sit on head, #play bulldozer, #too much power

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Ratbert tells the Boss, "Now that you're under my spell, I'd like to sit on your head and play bulldozer." The Boss stares straight ahead and holds his arms out. Ratbert sits on the Boss's head and pulls on his hair. He says, "Make some engine noises with your lips!" Ratbert laughs as the Boss makes noises. Alice asks Dilbert and Wally, "Do you think our consultant has too much power?" Dilbert replies, "Nah. He's barely moving that file cabinet."