Never Mention Comic Strips - Page 5
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657 Results for Never Mention
View 41 - 50 results for never mention comic strips. Discover the best "Never Mention" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 30,
2001
Tags #circuit design, #mention, #didnt, #psychic, #conversation
Transcript
Dilbert is eating lunch with a female coworker. The coworker says, "Then I noticed that the circuit design looked like a bug. I was going to mention it but then I didn't." Dilbert exclaims, "I'm psychic!" Dilbert continues, "Unless you're saying out loud every thought that crosses your mind." The coworker gives the thumbs up and says, "It's called conversation."
Wednesday November 07,
2001
Tags #lost two pounds, #yoga class, #never sick, #yoga prodicgy
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert are at the coffee machine. Wally says, "I've lost two pounds since I signed up for yoga class." Wally continues, "And I never get sick anymore." Dilbert says, "You haven't had a class yet." Wally responds, "Maybe I'm some sort of yoga prodigy."
Wednesday February 27,
2002
Tags #first week, #never do work, #non work, #tasks, #thinking, #wally period, #wally week, #want week
Transcript
Wally says to Asok, "The first week after getting an assignment is called 'The Wally Period.' Wally continues, "Never do work during the Wally period because most tasks become unnecessary within seven days." Asok exclaims, "I want a period named after me!" Wally replies, "Whoa, Asok. That takes many years of non-work."
Friday July 05,
2002
Tags #improve morale, #want drinking enough, #coffee meetings, #never leave table
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, "I'm having these coffee meetings to find out how I can improve morale." Wally responds, "My only problem was that I wasn't drinking enough coffee with you. So now I'm good, thanks." Wally continues, "Promise me you'll never leave this table. I can't go back to the way things were."
Monday September 22,
2003
Tags #lead odg, #view never changes, #look at face, #imlying, #insightful analogy
Transcript
The boss: "Remember, if you're not the lead dog, the view never changes." Carol: "I'm not the lead dog, and I have to look at your face all day. The Boss: "What are you implying?" Carol: "I was admiring your insightful analogy."
Tuesday October 14,
2003
Tags #hate people, #never allowed shoes, #Dogbert, #hows my walking, #dial, #1800
Transcript
"I plan to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that say, 'How am I walking? Call 1-800 blah, blah, blah.'" "If you call the number and report people, they'll never again be allowed to purchase shoes!" "The best part about hating people is that I never run out of great ideas."
Friday June 11,
2004
Tags #prima donna, #never produced anything, #except arrogance, #noise, #ta-da, #case closed, #stand behind, #end sentences
Transcript
"Asok, I want you to work for the prima donna. Do what ever he tells you." "May I point out that he has never produced anything except arrogance and noise?" "You will stand behind me, and when I end a sentence, you will either say, 'Ta-da' or 'case closed.'"
Thursday October 28,
2004
Tags #explain the issue, #never comprehend, #conflicts, #never understand
Transcript
"I know I keep asking you this but could you explain the issue again?" "Well, something that you could never comprehend conflicts with something that you'd never understand." "Oh."
Monday April 18,
2005
Tags #vendor, #can't deliver parts, #promised parts, #better job, #never buy
Transcript
Dilbert: Our vendors rep says they can't deliver the parts for three months. The Boss: that just means he promised the parts to some other customer who did a better job of threatening him. Dilbert: How about if I say we'll never buy from you gain? vendor: Id say you're not exactly buying form us now.
Monday October 31,
2005
Tags #overall startegy, #never ask questiom, #hear the answer
Transcript
How does my project fit into our company's overall strategy? "Beats me. I didn't even know we had a strategy." "Never ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer." "That's why I never say 'How are you?'"