Next Level Shale Comic Strips - Page 5

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633 Results for Next Level Shale

View 41 - 50 results for next level shale comic strips. Discover the best "Next Level Shale" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #me from future, #next holiday party, #never drank agina, #predicting future

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Dilbert introduces the future Dilbert to Alice: "Alice, this is me from the future." Alice says: "Hi." The future Dilbert tells Dilbert: "At the next holiday party, she's all over you." Dilbert asks the future Dilbert as they are walking away: "Is that true?" The future Dilbert answers: "No, but after today she never drank again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #quit job, #next year, #extra week vacation, #every ten years

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Alice says to Dilbert as they walk, "I'd quit this job, but next year I'll get an extra week of vacation." Dilbert replies, "If you get an extra week for every ten years of services..." Dilbert continues, "...you'll be happy in 480 years. Good plan." Alice replies, not humored "Shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2000's comic on:


Tags #insulted, #same level, #attractness, #hot sexy car, #electric car

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Ming says to Dilbert, "Frankly, I'm insulted that you asked me out." Ming continues, "It means you think we're about the same level of attractiveness." Ming then says to Dilbert, "You'd better have one heckuva sexy car." Dilbert replies, "It's electric."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2001's comic on:


Tags #four hundred features, #level of complexity, #easy to use

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Dilbert is talking to a worker. Holding a list, Dilbert says, "Your user requirements include four hundred features." Dilbert continues, "Do you realize that no human would be able to use a product with that level of complexity?" The worker says, "Good point. I'd better add 'easy to use' to the list."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2001's comic on:


Tags #next generation, #internet project, #cute single women, #low standard

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Wally, sitting between the boss and Dilbert, says, "My next generation internet project is right on schedule." Wally says, "It'll be done sometime in the next generation." Wally continues, "If you know any cute single women with low standards, it would really help."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #mismatch, #improve yourself, #my level, #gaining weight, #terrible haircut, #few teeth, #wear stained clothes, #tobacco

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Dilbert and the woman from the gym are walking outside. The woman says, "We're such a mismatch that I doubt you'll ever improve yourself all the way to my level." She continues, "Maybe I could meet you in the middle by gaining thirty pounds and getting a terrible haircut." Dilbert and the woman sit on the bank of the river. She continues, "...Knock out a few teeth, wear stained clothes, chew tobacco..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2001's comic on:


Tags #music in offcie, #can't concentrate, #turn it down, #drive you nuts, #complain, #cubicles, #separation, #desks

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Dilbert leans over the cubicle wall and says, "Could you turn off the music? I can't concentrate" to the coworker next to him. The coworker replies, "How about if I turn it down to a level where it still drives you nuts but you're too shy to complain a second time?" Dilbert says, "Thank you." The coworker says, "It might creep up over time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #reserve conference room, #everyday, #next year, #sociopath, #beat you to it, #slowest sociopath

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The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, reserve the conference room every day for the next day in case I need it." Carol responds, "You're too late. Some other sociopath had the same idea and beat you to it." As The Boss walks away he thinks to himself, "I hate being the slowest sociopath."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #next speaker, #athlete, #drugs, #booze, #inspirational

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The Boss says into a microphone, "Our next speaker was a famous athlete until drugs and booze ruined his life." A shaky, disheveled man walks towards The Boss and says, "Shank Hew Vewy Mush." Alice turns to The Boss and says, "It's not inspirational until he stops doing those things." The Boss asks, "What?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dogcart attorney, #too late, #change, #punish client, #expect awkward silences, #next break

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Headline: Dogbert the Attorney. Dogbert raises his hand and says, "Your honor, is it too late to change sides?" Dogbert continues, "After hearing the evidence, I want to punish my client." After a pause, Dogbert asks, "No?" The Boss glares at Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "I expect some awkward silences during the next break."