No Longer Communtes Comic Strips - Page 5
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102 Results for No Longer Communtes
View 41 - 50 results for no longer communtes comic strips. Discover the best "No Longer Communtes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 22,
2000
Tags resume, sarcasm, slave to company, supportiveness, undesirable location, potential slave
Transcript
Dilbert works on his resume at work. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "There...my resume is done. I will no longer be a slave to my company." Dogbert, now irritated says to Dilbert, "Yeah! Now you're a potential slave for a company in an undesirable location!" Dilbert turns to look and Dogbert and asks, "Was that sarcasm or supportiveness?" Dogbert replies, "You only think there's a difference."
Friday July 11,
2003
Tags are years ago, this year, futire, free soft drinks, free coffee, bottled water
Transcript
Headline: A Few Years Ago. Catbert says, "The company will no longer provide free soft drinks." Headline: This Year. Catberrt says, "No more free coffee, and no more free bottled water." Headline: In the Future. Catbert is in a space suit. He says, "Don't swallow your saliva."
Tuesday September 16,
2003
Tags india institute of technology, huge brain, mental superiority, re heat tea, forehead, fire
Transcript
Asok: "At the India Institute of Technology, I learned to use my huge brain." "But I try not to frighten ordinary people with any gratuitous displays of mental superiority." "For example, I no longer reheat my tea by holding it to my forehead and imagining fire."
Tuesday March 02,
2004
Tags aspect manager, morale, effective, genius, change of leadership
Transcript
The Boss: "I've been named the aspect manager of moral. Effective today, you no longer report to me." Yippeeee! Woo hooo! Yes! CEO: "How did you improve the morale so quickly?" The Boss: "I'm a genius?"
Thursday July 29,
2004
Tags hefty bonus, under budget, results, luck, project delayed
Transcript
"I got a hefty bonus for being way under budget." "Effort is no longer rewarded. It's all about results, which means mostly luck." "It's kinda funny; the only reason I was under budget is that my project was delayed." "Gaaaa!!!"
Sunday April 18,
1999
Tags process manager, process, poorly manged, intern, no process, voted out of meeting, annoying
Transcript
Wally, Dilbert, the Boss, and others are in a meeting. The Boss introduces the woman next to him to the group. The Boss says, "Patty is our new 'process manager.'" The Boss continues, "Patty doesn't know how to DO anything." He adds, "She only knows how to do things BETTER!" Patty raises a finger, "Process!" Patty says, "For example, this meeting is poorly managed because you have no process." Patty, turning to Asok, continues, "And this intern obviously had no process for deciding whether to attend." The Boss raises his hand. He addresses the group, "Okay, Patty is annoying. All in favor of getting rid of her." The entire group, except for Patty, raises their hands. Asok looks like he's going to strangle her. As they all leave the meeting behind the dejected Patty, Dilbert says to her, "You lasted longer than Timmy the 'Facilitator.'"
Wednesday March 23,
2005
Tags not entitled to opinions, copyrighted, stupidest opinions, universe, uttered
Transcript
"And so that's why..." "Excuse me, you're not entitled to your opinion." "I copyrighted all of the stupidest opinions in the universe so they can never again be uttered." "Hey! I just realized that I no longer need to drink!"
Saturday September 10,
2005
Saturday December 24,
2005
Tags power point zone, real wolrd, bullet points, imaginary prodcutivity, eight lsides
Transcript
I am entering the PowerPoint zone. "I no longer feel the need to change the real world as long as I can change these bullet points." "How much imaginary productivity did you have today?" "Eight slides!"