No Potential Benefit Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

70 Results for No Potential Benefit

View 41 - 50 results for no potential benefit comic strips. Discover the best "No Potential Benefit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #old job, #network systems, #asminstrator, #reckless abuse, #power, #new ethernet card, #solve problem, #big pile, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dilbert eats potato chips. Dogbert announces, "I'm going back to my old job as a network systems administrator." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert offers Dogbert some chips as Dogbert says, "I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power." Asok the Intern sits at his computer and looks at Dogbert who is waving an ethernet card at him. Dogbert says, "This new ethernet card could solve your problems. Would you like a sniff before I throw it in a big pile in my office?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #mutual fund, #past performance, #no indication, #future perfromance, #strategy, #entire investment, #personal expenses, #talking to wall

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits behind a large desk. He says to a potential investor, "As you know, past performance is no indication of future performance." Dogbert continues, "So my strategy is to use your entire investment for my personal expenses and see what happens." The investor says, "Has that strategy ever worked before?" Dogbert says, "Geez, it's like I'm talking to a wall here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #salay, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells the Boss, "I didn't work up to my full potential today." Dilbert continues, "Naturally, I'll be refunding a portion of my salary to the company." The Boss says, "Uh . . . We don't really have a process for that." Dilbert says, "What? That's almost like saying it's okay to work below my potential." Dilbert screams, "Hey guys! You were right! The pay's the same whether you try or not!" Wally says, "That's great! I didn't do squat today!" Ted adds, "I played 'Tetris.'" Dilbert tells the Boss, "Thanks for the clarification." Wally says, "It's a big time-saver." The Boss thinks, "Hey, I actually got paid for that!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #objectives are vague, #unmeasurable, #not inspired, #achieve full ptential, #bad job

View Transcript

Transcript

"I am concerned because my objectivess are vague and unmeasurable." "As a result, I am not inspired to achieve my full potential... and... um..." "Did I just say I'm doing a bad job and ask you to punish me?" "That's what I heard."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #my hat, #can't see, #perfect for job, #reverse psychology, #potentail jumpers

View Transcript

Transcript

"I understand that you have an opening for a negotiator who deals with potential jumpers." "I can't see you because my hat is in the way, but you sound perfect for the job." "Your reverse psychology didn't work." "What reverse psychology?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

We need to add a $3 component to our product to comply with federal law. "The product review committee will need a cost-benefit study before we decide." "And you know it's accurate because I used math!" Duh 100

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

And that's why I recommend using this process. The Office Nemesis "Have you done a cost-benefit analysis for every conceivable option?" "Safety violation! Safety violation!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

How can I achieve my full potential? "You already have." "What?" "Seriously. You already peaked." "I came to human resources for some guidance." "That's what tipped me off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #cold calling, #video chat, #sales job, #computer, #selling on line, #skype, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're supposed to be cold calling sales prospects. Wally: I am. I'm using a video chat site to randomly meet potential customers. This guy is excited to see me, and that's half of the sales job right here.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management potentail, #turtle, #attacked by hawk

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "I will use role play to evaluate your management potential. Catbert says, "Imagine you are a turtle and you are being attacked by a hawk." Catbert says, "That's better than I expected." A man says, "Thanks."