Not Right Comic Strips - Page 5

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

674 Results for Not Right

View 41 - 50 results for not right comic strips. Discover the best "Not Right" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags highlight, staff meeting, wally report, hair styled, usual, hair stylist, used nose trimmer, seemed right, salon brawl

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally addresses a meeting, "Now for the highlight of the staff meeting: The Wally Report." Wally continues, "Yesterday I was getting my hair styled as usual." Wally continues, "But this time I forgot to remove my glasses, and what I saw was disturbing." Wally continues, "The stylist was using a nose-hair trimmer to cut my hair!" Wally continues, "I protested. But she said she's been doing my hair that way for years." Wally continues, "She said it just, 'seemed right.'" Wally raises his arms and exclaims, "Tempers flared. I threw some hair gel. A salon brawl broke out!" The Boss asks, "Don't we use the same stylist?" Wally replies, "That would explain why she has a plunger."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doing it wrong, response time, sub second, two seconds, always right, never wrong, screaming

View Transcript

Transcript

Noriko says to Dilbert, "And we'll have sub-second response time. Dilbert says to Noriko, "Actually, it's already two seconds, and your change will add two more." Noriko exclaims to Dilbert, "Why do you always have to be right?!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Just once can't you admit I'm right?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I admit that two plus two equals less than one." Noriko says, "I don't mean now, jerk. I mean in general." Dilbert says, "Okay. In general I admit that the rules of physics are optional." Noriko exclaims, "You're doing it wrong!!" Dilbert says, "You're right. My fault again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, email, facts, link to study, Right, science, scientific study, winning an argument

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I got your stupid email with your stupid link to that stupid scientific study. I don't care about your so-called "facts." I know I'm right! Dilbert: Winning an argument never feels like winning.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gut in charge, gut instinct, ignoring certain people, key to success, morse code, never right, thinking, wants a sandwhich

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The key to success is ignoring the people who say it can't be done. Dilbert: What if they're all right? Boss: They aren't right! Dilbert: Really? Other people are never right? Boss: You have to trust your gut! Dilbert: My gut is telling me that everything your're saying is ridiculous. It also says it wants a sandwich right now. I'd stay, but I'm putting my gut in charge of my decisions. Wally: My gut sends me messages in Morse code. Here comes one now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoiding, employees, frustration, managers & supervisors, nothing going right, avoid, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Uh-oh. Alice: Guess what's going right for me today. Nothing!!! Boss: I usually do a better job of avoiding them when they have problems.

Dilbert Refuses To Admit He Is Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Dilbert Refuses To Admit He Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wrong, right vs. wrong, narcissist, refuse to admit

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: People keep telling me you refuse to admit when you are wrong. Dilbert: It only looks that way because Im right most off the time and people are too dumb to know it. Tina: wow! They're right about you being a narcissist, too. Dilbert: I refuse to admit I'm wrong about this.

Asok Is A Narcissist Too

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is A Narcissist Too - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags situation, too dumb, narcissist, Right, wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Dilbert is a total narcissist, He refuses to admit when he'swrong. Asok: How would the situation look any different to you if he's actually right most of the time and you're too dumb to know it? Ted: I don't understand your point. Asok: According to your that makes me a narcissist.

Toxic Employee Was Right

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee Was Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, fire, managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: does anyone have any suggestions for improving our company culture? dilbert: for starters, you could fire the toxic employee you hired for no good reason. boss whispers to toxic employee: you were right about dilbert being a hater. toxic employee: you should hear what he says about you.

Wally Will Be Right Back

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Will Be Right Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, minute, desk, help, mystery

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: do you have a minute to help me? wally: absolutely. i'll be right back after i drop off something at my desk. tina: i'll never see you again, will i? wally: don't take the mystery out of it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cartoonists, ventriloquism, writing, hand puppet, data overload, ridiculous, poorly written story, case closed

View Transcript

Transcript

Police says, "We have a report of a pointy-haired boss being stunned by data overload, stuffed, and used as a hand puppet." Alice says, "That's ridiculous. It sounds like the plot of a poorly written story arc." Police says, "It sounds poorly drawn too." Alice says, "Case closed, right?"